JayMind (@JayMindX) header
JayMind (@JayMindX) profile picture

JayMind

@JayMindX

“Writer.” Professional cynic.

 Minneapolis
teapaw.org/search?q=from%3A%40JayMindX%20exclude%3Areplies
Joined July 2015
  • Tweets22.5K
  • Following2K
  • Followers7.2K
I can tell just by looking at a person if they have the Arby’s app on their phone.
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*chugs 4th glass of wine *slams the glass on the table I’m gonna buy a dog.
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Friday night, time to fax my pizza delivery order to the local Domino’s.
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After food is delivered to my door, I hire a second person to bring it to my couch.
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If I were a solo artist I would call myself 21 Sandwich, because that’s how many I eat each week.
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What is the exact amount of time before a nap actually turns in to bed time?
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i once saw maury povich break a homeless guy's arm with his bare hands
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Gonna start dressing like the 80s again. Whether I mean the 1980s or 80-years-old, I’ll let you decide.
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I wish I was rich enough to say “I’ll send for the rest of my things” as I make a dramatic exit out the door.
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I see posts like, "If food is too expensive just grow your own." Okay George Washington why didn't I think of that
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It’s cruel that when you’re in a hotel learning a new shower knob, confused and annoyed, you’re also naked and cold.
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JayMind retweeted
Kat (@ollkorrect0) profile picture
Kat@ollkorrect010 Aug 2025
My mother has requested I find a new emergency contact
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The whitest thing I’ve ever done is buy salsa from CVS.
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Onlyfans is just what I’ll be running after paying my July electric bill.
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I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.
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Sometimes we clap because they’re good. Sometimes we clap because they’re done. Karaoke
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Dudes have to wear pants to the office, but I can throw on a pillowcase with armholes & go unbothered.
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JayMind retweeted
dan (@dadopotamus) profile picture
dan
@dadopotamus21 Jul 2025
10 years ago, I put my phone on silent and never looked back.
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You'd have to work pretty hard to be obese & Amish.
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I was a completely different person yesterday when I was making plans for today.
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Adults who say “yummy” please stop.
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