Jim (@Jimpetuous) header
Jim (@Jimpetuous) profile picture

Jim

@Jimpetuous

Comedian & writer. Check the link for upcoming gigs

 Dublin City, Ireland
jimelliottcomedy.com
Joined April 2010
  • Tweets16.8K
  • Following1.4K
  • Followers2K
2.3KMedia
Photo by Jim (@Jimpetuous)Photo by Jim (@Jimpetuous)Photo by Jim (@Jimpetuous)Photo by Jim (@Jimpetuous)Photo by Jim (@Jimpetuous)Photo by Jim (@Jimpetuous)Photo by Jim (@Jimpetuous)Photo by Jim (@Jimpetuous)Photo by Jim (@Jimpetuous)Photo by Jim (@Jimpetuous)
"The Kraken" is a mythological form of diarrhea popularised in Scandinavian folklore – at Dublin City, Ireland
Secretary Kennedy (@SecKennedy) profile pictureSecretary Kennedy
@SecKennedyNov 6
Next to me, Stephen Miller is the strongest MAHA supporter in the administration. It’s time to unleash the Kraken.
2
107
I wish Mitch McConnell was alive to see this – at Dublin City, Ireland
2
101
Hegseth drunk as *hell* right now – at Dublin City, Ireland
2
125
GET DAVIS OFF THE FLOOR HE'S HOPPING I DON'T CARE IF HE MADE THE SHOT SIT HIM #forthedistrict
88
Oh is there a votesball happening today? That’s cute. I’m focused on real issues like the Minnesota Vikings rushing attack but that’s fun for you🙄
76
2,170
48
43,726
855,920
Image from Bala (@BalaPattySZN)
9
196
16
2,072
33,156
The supermarket chain thaw massacre
Reuters (@Reuters) profile pictureReuters
@ReutersNov 2
Cyberattack on fridges hits supermarkets across Europe reut.rs/3X1A0dF
Cyberattack on fridges hits supermarkets across Europe

Cyberattack on fridges hits supermarkets across Europe

European supermarket fridges are under cyberattack once again, with stores across a vast swathe of the continent from Sweden to ​Belgium hit by a hack on Monday that turned up their temperatures,...

reuters.com
54
417
16
3,110
58,156
ME: haha, check out this picture of me playing basketball last year QUOTE TWEET FROM ARTBUTSPORTS: The Poorly Endowed Dunce 1596, Erskine the Wise
9
567
4
17,616
752,740
My corporate job gave me access to bleeding-edge frontier AI models. All the ones you've heard of. I use them to find old email threads. – at Dublin City, Ireland
85
STALLONE: I play Rocky. HOLLYWOOD EXEC: This isn’t Broadway, kid. You movie Rocky.
1
88
1
2,597
37,714
I only pretend to know what it is. Call that The Dunning-Kruger Affect. – at Dublin City, Ireland
Daniel ETH (refuted) (@daniel_271828) profile pictureDaniel ETH (refuted)
@daniel_271828Oct 31
People who never heard of Dunning-Kruger by default don’t think it’s real. And people who are familiar with the latest psychology research also know it’s not real. But there’s an intermediate level of understanding where people have heard of Dunning-Kruger and believe in it.
97
Actually, Zombie is the name of the monster. Doctor¹ Cranberries was the scientist. ¹"doctor" is irish for "the" – at Dublin City, Ireland
115
I hate the term “ratfucked” in politics. It takes something beautiful that happens between two or more rats and makes it disgusting
33
1,450
30
20,286
337,923
My vent art.
Image from gracie ❤️‍🩹 (@graciezhazy)
17
892
12
11,624
93,245
It’s stressful being a comedian in Ireland bc every taxi driver is funnier than me
32
155
6
7,020
63,491
I didn't know how to feel about this anecdote so I asked ChatGPT and it said I should feel a deep sense of despair gilded with grief for humanity's future and anger at the ruling class who pursued this path – at Dublin City, Ireland
Keith Edwards (@keithedwards) profile pictureKeith Edwards
@keithedwardsOct 25
this is so bleak
Image from Keith Edwards (@keithedwards)
1
76
Data center joke – at Dublin City, Ireland
Image from Jim (@Jimpetuous)
2
1
5
1,543
The world you grew up in no longer exists
Velodus 🦃🍁 (@velodus) profile pictureVelodus 🦃🍁@velodusOct 24
Happy to say I just discovered the most 90's Inside the NBA segment possible
1
172
[Windy and wet] What an awful day to run a marathon. [Calm and clear] What an awful day to run a marathon.
7
1
25
OH MY GOD BILAL #ForTheDistrict – at Dublin City, Ireland
1
70
Load more