Having a girlfriend is like raising a f*cking child. ​You gotta keep her entertained before she gets bored and ruins your life for fun. ​ ​You thought you found love. ​Congratulations. ​You adopted a grown-ass toddler with a phone. ​ ​You can't have one peaceful f*cking weekend. ​Plan a date. ​Book a trip. ​Spend some money. ​God forbid princess gets bored. ​ ​Nothing's wrong. Nobody cheated. ​But she's bored. ​So now your relationship needs a f*cking crisis. ​ ​You bust your ass to give her a comfortable life. ​She gets comfortable. ​Then complains there's no excitement. ​You can't make this sh*t up. ​Some women would rather start a fight than survive a boring Tuesday. ​Now you're defending yourself against an argument she invented for entertainment. ​ ​Give her peace. She calls it boring. ​Give her stability. She misses excitement. ​Apparently, chaos is the only thing that gets her wet. ​ ​The most exhausting woman isn't the one with problems. ​It's the one who creates problems because she has none. ​ ​You're her boyfriend, therapist, ATM, travel agent, and, f*cking circus clown. ​Stop performing for one week. ​"You've changed." ​ ​Never marry a woman who needs drama to feel alive. ​You'll spend your entire marriage putting out fires she started just to feel warm.