Michelle M (@MichelleMossey) header
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Michelle M

@MichelleMossey

Mom, werewolf and dragon. Okay, I am not actually a dragon. Lover of babies, books, chocolate and nice people.

 Over The Rainbow
michellemossey.blogspot.com/
Joined December 2011
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Photo by Michelle M (@MichelleMossey)Photo by Michelle M (@MichelleMossey)Photo by Michelle M (@MichelleMossey)Photo by Michelle M (@MichelleMossey)Photo by Michelle M (@MichelleMossey)Photo by Michelle M (@MichelleMossey)Photo by Michelle M (@MichelleMossey)Photo by Michelle M (@MichelleMossey)Photo by Michelle M (@MichelleMossey)Photo by Michelle M (@MichelleMossey)
[day camp drop off] Me: Be good. 7-year-old: Maybe tomorrow.
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Me: Clean your room. 7-year-old: It's too dangerous. Me: It's perfectly safe. 7: I hear wolves.
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If you have a prayer list but not a to-do list, your bathroom grout will never be clean. cc: Darlene
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Michelle M retweeted
mark (@TheCatWhisprer) profile picture
mark@TheCatWhisprer6 Aug 2019
Went into Target for a couple items and my wife said “let’s not get a cart” and then we laughed and laughed and grabbed two just in case.
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I think my favorite thing about my husband making dinner is that I’m not making dinner.
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Whoever said women are the weaker sex has never seen me unstick two grocery carts with the power of Thor.
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5-year-old: When can I have a phone? Me: What do you need it for? 5: To text my boyfriend. Me: When you're 30.
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Michelle M retweeted
Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) profile picture
Mommy Owl@Mommy__Owl5 Aug 2019
No one makes more observations than a child sharing a stall with his mother inside a public restroom.
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[hair and makeup people arrive wedding morning] 7-year-old: How come you're not having anything done? Me: I'm already pretty. 7: Who told you that?
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In honor of Shark Week, I took a bite out of all the Oreos in the package and then left them alone
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7-year-old: Can I have candy? Me: You're already eating it. What will you do if I say no? 7: Swallow faster.
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Never trust a man who likes to jibber-jabber or dilly-dally.
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Me: Can you get your underwear from the backyard like I asked you to yesterday? 9yo: THAT'S STILL OUT THERE!?!? Me: The underwear fairy didn't come last night, so yes, you still need to do it
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Michelle M retweeted
mark (@TheCatWhisprer) profile picture
mark@TheCatWhisprer29 Jul 2019
I wish I could use the same excuses to call into work that my kid uses to get out of bed at night. Like, “Sorry, I can’t come in today there are too many stuffed animals in my bed.”
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At what age do humans become lying sacks of shit? Is it two? It feels like it’s two.
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Your the other political party? No problem! You’re a different religion? No worries! You’re a different ethnicity? That’s cool! You prefer crunchy peanut butter over creamy? YOU ARE DEAD TO ME.
If you son wants to give you a hug, it doesn't matter if he's covered with mud, give him a hug.
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You guys. There is the LOUDEST cicada outside my window. I’m not sure who he’s trying to signal but I think that she must be on the OTHER SIDE OF THE HEMISPHERE.
Therapist: How does that make you feel? Me: Like I want to stab someone. Therapist: That’s an action, lets focus on a feeling word. Me: Like if I don’t get to stab someone I will be sad.
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Turn the chicken nuggets halfway through?! Who do you think I am? Martha Stewart??!!
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