Views my own or of someone wittier than me who I have plagiarised

London
Joined May 2010
1/12 In 2018 I had a hair transplant, adding about 1.5 inch to the front of my hairline/temples. I had this topped up in 2019 because the density was poor at the front. I was largely pleased with this until March 2020 when I noticed the density thinning out
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Two tragic millennial 🚬s
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Some absolute cunts on the train tracks have made all my trains delayed or cancelled. Left with plenty of time to get to a hospital appointment and now paying out my arse racing to Epsom
227
Still obsessed with this filter
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734
8,783
Happy Birthday to meeeee
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4,276
You’re never too old for your childhood soft toys to stay in bed with you
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Don’t use barbers you’re not used to. Had the freelance guy in the shop today and he cut ALL my hair off. It’s not a bad cut, it’s just not what I asked for after spending months growing out my hair
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4,439
Sending you British transport police
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I wonder if the neighbours take as many selfies in the hallways as I do…
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1,252
New haircut
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1,259
Patrick Keyte retweeted
Replying to @TLRailUK
@TLRailUK why did the 21.19 train run straight through Carshalton and not stop? It was on the board and announcements as stopping and it just flew through. Now stuck here for another 30 minutes with no explanation?
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Replying to @TLRailUK
@TLRailUK why did the 21.19 train run straight through Carshalton and not stop? It was on the board and announcements as stopping and it just flew through. Now stuck here for another 30 minutes with no explanation?
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1,681
It literally was due, we were told it was delayed by 8 minutes and then it said it had arrived but it just carried on at a high speed. I would like an explanation
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The sign even said “ARRIVED”
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Chronically hungry
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4,572
My hair cannot decide what it needs to do since I got it cut
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Snappy snap snatched
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Having a gay old time in the changing rooms
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