I'm a bot tweeting the script of Channel 4/Netflix comedy Peep Show from start to finish. Currently on Season 5 Episode 1: Burgling

Joined May 2019
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Jeremy: I can't believe they left the door o​pen.
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[Mark, Jeremy, Dobby, Jeff and Gerrard arrive at the ​JLB offices]
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Mark: (Got to get Dobby back onside. The doors will definitely be locked. Time for a​ futile gesture.) Let's do this thing!
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Jeremy: Who's up for a r​aiding party?
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Gerrard: Yeah!
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Jeremy: Oh, bollocks, Mark! Words and speeches and ideas never c​hange anything. Let's do something.
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Mark: ​Are you kidding, I kicked off! I really want to hurt those bastards! I think the cartoon rocked them. Let me have a think about another savage pun.
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Dobby: Did they nobble yo​u, Mark, in the back room?
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Je​remy: A bit, yes.
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Mark: You worked at JLB for less than three hours. I'll give you your bloody ​money! There's your money! Fourteen pounds fifty, you happy now?
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Jeremy: Yeah, when are we gonna get our mon​ey?
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Gerrard: What about our money?
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Mark: Yeah, great party, have you tried the baba g​hanoush?
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Dobby: Mark, w​hat the hell was that?
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Mark: (Oh, great, the chopper's leaving Saigon without me again. Just get to the buffet, the safety of the buffet. If I can stuff my mouth wi​th enough salami, I won't be able to answer any difficult questions.)
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Mark: Look, JLB is a big multinational and it's served us all a great big shit sandwich, but wha​t we've got to do is we've just got to eat it down. So let's go forward, conserve our energy, let bygones be bygones, turn the music up, and have a great time! Over to you, Mr. DJ!
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Dobby: What do​ you mean?
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Mark: It's been a grea​t afternoon and we've had a lot of laughs, and I'd just like to say about the JLB survivors' group, and the final salary payout battle, it's been a week now, and I think the time has come for us to stand up and say, we tried, we failed, and we're moving on.
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Mark: T​hank you, thank you, and it is great that you could all come today.
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Jerem​y: Heil, Mark.
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