Possessionista M.D. (@Possessionista) profile picture

Anyone can call themselves a doctor on this app.

Probably looking for my phone
Joined February 2009
My husband has recently discovered that he's a coffee snob. Husband: I think I'd like a grinder. 12yo: Download it from the app store Me: Husband: 12yo:
283
7,781
541
65,036
Possessionista M.D. retweeted
Whoever invented iced water was a genius. I’d like some water please. Yeah lemme get some future water in there too
40
1,705
34
31,182
266,379
Possessionista M.D. retweeted
The adjective for metal is metallic, but not for iron, which is ironic. Thank you.
135
1,352
58
10,989
198,546
Possessionista M.D. retweeted
The word, bed, is shaped like a bed.
246
2,093
156
21,942
512,016
Possessionista M.D. retweeted
due to the economy, the devil is now wearing Puma
43
127
2,649
Possessionista M.D. retweeted
🎶Whoaaa here he comes Watch out girl he’ll fact you up Whooaaaa here he comes He’s a maaaannsplainer🎶
1
20
39
893
Possessionista M.D. retweeted
Hear me out: Prescription strength snacks.
15
18
1,125
Possessionista M.D. retweeted
1
80
4
857
9,211
Possessionista M.D. retweeted
clocks go back next weekend, hopefully back to when we were kids because fuck this
105
7,200
306
38,706
645,902
Possessionista M.D. retweeted
For the holidays his year, I’m giving my family members a card that says… ‘A donation has been made in your name to my therapist.’
19
25
1
326
4,793
Possessionista M.D. retweeted
No debt. Perfect weight. 8 hours of sleep. Mental health in check. Clean diet. Zero alcohol. That was my prime era. I was 10.
126
2,958
129
30,866
794,506
Possessionista M.D. retweeted
When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother, what will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? Here’s what she said to me. You’ll be late.
3
12
54
1,260
Possessionista M.D. retweeted
Conservatives will say that liberals have Trump Derangement Syndrome for posting about blatant corruption and then drive 40 minutes to their nearest big city galleria mall to pull up to the Cheesecake Factory for a selfie to protest a random Barack Obama joke they misunderstood.
27
368
5
3,844
44,188
Possessionista M.D. retweeted
I really think it's bullshit that hospitals make you pay for parking.
64
38
7
664
12,818
Possessionista M.D. retweeted
“you’re a psychopath” at least im on a path babe sort your own life out
15
553
21
3,442
64,699
Possessionista M.D. retweeted
feeling bad today. let me unwind by spending a couple hours on my Feeling Worse machine
6
290
3
4,337
53,917
Possessionista M.D. retweeted
Experts say you should wait 60-90 minutes after waking up before drinking coffee. But here’s the thing. No.
418
466
75
7,150
315,907
Possessionista M.D. retweeted
“lemme slip into something more comfortable” enters psychosis
19
1,856
48
10,066
161,975
Possessionista M.D. retweeted
Having a dog is basically having a tiny roommate who doesn’t speak your language but has very strong opinions about your lifestyle.
23
790
37
13,269
177,868
Possessionista M.D. retweeted
I’m really confuse how do they know an animal is extinct like?? U looked everywhere?
10
99
2
1,420
36,454
god i miss when i could just buy something and it wouldn't generate 50 fucking emails in my inbox
131
5,982
70
130,740
1,068,623