New episode out not. youtu.be/0h6l73xzkMk

I woke my wife up in the middle of the night to tell her that water was flooding into our garage and we needed to stop it. She looked at me and asked if I know how early it is. I said it's about dam time.

People shouldn't have kids after 25. That's too many kids.

Throw back episode from 2013 youtu.be/DHRSnDi2dbE

A photon checked into a hotel but had no bags. He was travelling light.

If seagulls fly over a bay are they bagels?

I saw this headline today, "Man jailed for 'acting strange' at casino" Uhmmm, have they never been in a casino before? It is weirder to find people acting normal.

I knew a guy who was arrested for stealing hay. Unfortunately, he couldn’t make bale.

My family put a skeleton in our yard for Halloween today. I hid the arm bone. No one found that humerus.

New episode. spreaker.com/episode/are-cas…

If life is stressing you out, try being a minimalist. It's the least you can do.

If you tear the last page out of most any owners manual, chew it up and eat it, in 24 hours or less you will void that warranty.

I'm not saying I'd be a great museum guide, but i could probably do a docent job.

I did a magic trick on a zoom meeting, but nobody was impressed. I guess I'm not remotely amazing.