When your husband is late to pick you up and this is the text you get

And not a single headline reads, “Could he BE anymore dead?!”

When I say "cartoon", what's the first cartoon that comes to mind? (This is helping me make decorations for a cartoon-themed party.)

Me: “I’ve never had so much football on my timeline” Husband: “I’ve never had so much Taylor Swift on my ESPN”

When everyone is wearing Halloween costumes, no one is wearing Halloween costumes.

Loving everything about the incredible @selenagomez, Taylor’s bestie, talking about the idea of shedding labels while standing next to a giant golden snake in the latest episode of OMITB. COINCIDENCE?! I think not.

When you’ve recently swapped some household responsibilities and also asked your husband to bring you a glass of water

Settling is for parking spaces not significant others.

Grabbing coffee this morning, a young man was in there with his father. The dad walked up to the counter and ordered a “bagel with all the sprinkles” the barista looked at the son, who smiled and said, “an everything bagel.” What a delightfully wholesome moment.

Hello there, just a quick note that Ms. M from Marvelous Mrs Maisel season 4 is also Michel’s mother in Gilmore Girls. She is completely booked.

A Christian Harvest Festival store called Fall Things to Fall People

Someone send help, I had the audacity to make myself a salmon lunch and now I am being circled by land sharks which had previously convinced me they were cats.

Tonight I sat in a room of wonderful, intelligent, informed people and not one of us made the connection that discussing Oppenheimer’s brilliance and impact may affect our Asian American friend in the room. Please be mindful in the way that we were not, friends.

SCREAMING. I AM SCREAMING. HANK GREEN. ON DIMENSION 20. AHHHHHH

Could everyone take a quick look around? I can’t find my keys.