copywriter | reasonable enough guy | colts fan in nyc

Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Joined September 2012
In Shrek, Shrek grabs a frog, blows it up like a balloon and IT FLOATS. Does this mean Shrek has the ability to exhale pure helium? What other secrets lie within his fascinating anatomy? Hi, I'm Neil DeGrasse Tyson and I am fucking baaaaaked.
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i stand by it
misogyny checkpoint: what’s the first tweet that shows up when you search “women” on your page ?
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Elon Musk found us here. We’re indigenous to this land.
If people dislike Elon Musk so much, why do they still use the platform he owns?
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craziest corporate shit i’ve ever seen. like ever.
What the actual fuck have I just read
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we can’t all be german
this is just a classic case of words not being sentences
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My cousin was born nonverbal autistic. I watched him struggle and learn and grow. He speaks now, and he said the first time he saw an airplane, he remembered what he came to this world for: making them. Decided he was going to speak & actually did. He’s now an aerospace engineer.
If autism is genetic and relatively common, then it must hold an evolutionary purpose for it to remain prominent
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21 years ago I named "Reddit" and everyone said it was a horrible name, but I insisted one day people would say "I read it on reddit" and used my CEO-privilege to overrule everyone + kept the name. Now the company twitter account (unbeknownst to them) is making the joke. Heh.
I'd tell you a joke, but you've probably already Reddit.
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I think loving a woman should give you a personal vendetta against whatever is making her life difficult
when a girl with a bf is stressed out I'm like why isn't he fixing this? it's literally his job
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a table talking about fantasy football punishments, being in couples therapy with his domestic partner yet refusing to get married because he “doesn’t need that shit,” and the third dude talking about his au pair’s fat fat ass. best nyc eavesdropping ever. no notes.
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i can’t believe the bears want to leave that stadium. greed ruins everything beautiful.
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The jeeper creep during his off time
James Goldstein is a millionaire NBA superfan who reportedly spends over $500,000 a year on courtside seats.
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biggest sweetie in the league
Tyrese Haliburton broke down during his postgame interview with Jeremiah Johnson 🥹 So good to have you back, 0 💙
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not saying this is a good or a bad thing but he’s the last masculine man to be on snl
Tina Fey being so well suited to take over SNL that it made Jason Sudekis emotional thinking about it. #wellyeah
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he’s not gonna die. he’s never gonna die. accept it.
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yeah even we don’t know what it means…
Outside of Indiana, a severe lack of imagination in names
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Bench was up fast AF, Hali got shooters for life 😂
Tyrese Haliburton had words for Derik Queen. 👀🍿
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my favourite video of all time bc u can see how the caretakers looked like if their animals made a wish to become human
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unfortunately as i’ve gotten older i’ve learned that having an incessant need to travel does in fact mean you’re running away from something
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I have an older gentleman who comes into the shop about once a week. He’s very quiet, says hello, browses books for half an hour or so, finds something he likes, leaves. Today he told me that he has spent years trying to rebuild his library after his wife decided she was
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i want to design a virus that makes every computer in the world play this at the exact same time it could change things
I’m a 37 year old licensed professional and this has been stuck in my head all damn day
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THIS was my favorite of alllllll!!! She had fun with this one and guess what I like it like that!!!
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