“I’m just telling you Garrett, that’s not how they run routes in Egypt. Speaking of - did you know King Tut was seen by FBI agents in the Book Depository playing Uno with Lee Harvey Oswald? Stick around, kid. You can learn a lot from me.”

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Michael McKean · Feb 21, 2024 · 3:15 PM UTC

meatsweats retweeted

Michael McKean

@MJMcKean21 Feb 2024

Casting is fun. Also, there's the option of NOT making a movie about the Beatles.

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Patton Oswalt · Sep 13, 2021 · 3:53 PM UTC

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Patton Oswalt

@pattonoswalt13 Sep 2021

holy shit who did this

tweety@weirdwithwords12 Sep 2021

they turned alex jones' rants into a folk song and i love it like light loves lilies

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Bryan Paulk · Jul 18, 2021 · 3:21 AM UTC

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Bryan Paulk@thebryanpaulk18 Jul 2021

Baseball game interrupts America’s favorite pastime.

CBS News

@CBSNews18 Jul 2021

Fans were evacuated from Nationals Park Saturday night after a shooting occurred outside the stadium. Footage shows people rushing to leave the stadium, and the game has been suspended. cbsn.ws/3riL0Q1

Fans rush to exit Nationals Park after shooting occurs outside stadium

George Wallace · Mar 27, 2021 · 1:53 AM UTC

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George Wallace

@MrGeorgeWallace27 Mar 2021

I'll bring voters all the damn water I want. I'm gonna have a cart out there like a motherfletchin' flight attendant. Mineral water. Spring water. Smart Water. Vitamin water. Holy water. Muddy Waters. All the waters! Jim Crow can kiss my black ass!

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Jonathan Kimmel - Expert · Feb 17, 2021 · 4:56 AM UTC

meatsweats retweeted

Jonathan Kimmel - Expert@jonkimmel17 Feb 2021

Is there a way that I can listen to everybody's podcast without having to listen to anybody's podcast?

Bryan Paulk · Jan 30, 2021 · 4:24 PM UTC

meatsweats retweeted

Bryan Paulk@thebryanpaulk30 Jan 2021

I just made the best omelette. Link in bio for the recipe and tips on cooking with a Jewish space laser.

Bizarre Lazar · Jan 20, 2021 · 3:52 PM UTC

meatsweats retweeted

Bizarre Lazar@BizarreLazar20 Jan 2021

Is it Happy Inauguration or Merry Inauguration? I wouldn't want to offend evangelicals or anything.

Jo · Jan 10, 2021 · 2:40 PM UTC

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@JoJoFromJerz10 Jan 2021

Whatever your opinion of Arnold, I hope you’ll watch this video. From start to finish, this speech is a journey. It’s genuine. It’s beautiful. It’s powerful. It’s reaffirming. And it’s inspiring. I’m so glad I watched it.