Social Creative Director. Shitposting 9-5. Shit posts 5-9. Once trended here, haven't been trendy since.
Joined May 2009
- Tweets61K
- Following1.3K
- Followers10.2K
- Likes23.5K
Marty Lawrence retweeted
ME: Excuse me…Where's the rowing boat equipment?
EMPLOYEE: Keep going down there, Oar Aisle.
ME:
EMPLOYEE:
ME:
EMPLOYEE:
ME: Or you'll what?
Marty Lawrence retweeted
Still my favorite video of the last however many years. Watch it once a week
Marty Lawrence retweeted
Halftime: Dynamically weaves AI-generated ads into the scenes you’re watching, so breaks feel like part of the story instead of interruptions.
@krishgarg @yuviecodes @lohanipravin
Marty Lawrence retweeted
This fabulous parenting tale unleashed an avalanche of arrogance on Twitter and it's a grimly hilarious snapshot of the state of social media
thepoke.com/2025/07/08/this-…
Marty Lawrence retweeted
ME: I‘ve been feeling a little horse
JOCKEY: you're disgusti–
ME: I mean my throat hurts
JOCKEY: oh right ok
ME: [under breath] from kissing so many goddamn sexy horses
Marty Lawrence retweeted
The Rt Hon Jordan Pickford MP @JPickford1 has been appointed Secretary of State for Defence @DefenceHQ.
Marty Lawrence retweeted
Unfortunately, a tabloid newspaper has got hold of a music video I recorded in Islington North with an iconic grime artist I've admired for years.
They are planning to publish a heavily edited clip, so I'm releasing the full version myself. Watch here: tinyurl.com/yeymfb96
Marty Lawrence retweeted
eXpected Greggs. The only xG that matters this tournament. Score a free Sausage Roll or Vegan Sausage Roll on @JustEatUK orders over £15 after selected match days. When England and Scotland deliver, so do we ⚽
@allysbears @chris_sutton73
Marty Lawrence retweeted
ME: I'll see you in a month
WIFE: Don't forget to write
ME: It's highly unlikely I'd forget such a basic skill, Sharon
Marty Lawrence retweeted
[video call waiting for others to join]
ME:
COLLEAGUE:
ME:
COLLEAGUE:
ME:
COLLEAGUE:
ME:
COLLEAGUE:
ME:
COLLEAGUE: so how was your chri–
ME: we don't have to do this Sharon
