Chronicling critical misses throughout history. DM suggestions. Alter ego of @Schneider_CM Read more here: https://teapaw.org/t.co/P547lbowT8
Joined December 2020
- Tweets1.6K
- Following322
- Followers6.9K
- Likes603
Pinned Tweet
Welcome to Zero Star Reviews - your home for the worst critic reviews of all time. DM me with requests. And SMASH that FOLLOW button!
TITANIC (1997): "Just as the hubris of headstrong shipbuilders who insisted that the Titanic was unsinkable led to a maritime disaster, so Cameron's overweening pride has come unnecessarily close to capsizing this project." LA Times, 12/19/97
THE BEATLES - WHITE ALBUM (1968): "Boring almost beyond belief...more than half the songs are profound mediocrities. Mostly, they're rehashes of stuff that the Beatles have already done much better elsewhere." New York Times, December 15, 1968
MOBY DICK (1851): "This is an ill-compounded mixture of romance and matter-of-fact…so much trash belonging to the worst school of Bedlam literature.” An "absurd book." Athenaeum, Oct. 25, 1851
Zero Star Reviews retweeted
THE GODFATHER PART II (1974): "The only remarkable thing...is the insistent manner in which it recalls how much better his original film was...it has no mind of its own." DeNiro gives a "nightclub imitation of Mr. Brando's elderly Vito." New York Times, Dec. 13, 1974
THE GODFATHER PART II (1974): "The only remarkable thing...is the insistent manner in which it recalls how much better his original film was...it has no mind of its own." DeNiro gives a "nightclub imitation of Mr. Brando's elderly Vito." New York Times, Dec. 13, 1974
NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968): "A new low in box-office opportunism," "casts serious aspersions on the integrity and social responsibility of its...makers," "amateurism of the first order," an "unrelieved orgy of sadism." Variety, Oct. 16, 1968
Zero Star Reviews retweeted
Guys, I regret to inform you the AV Club has decided Jerry Seinfeld is also now NOT funny because, well, you know.
avclub.com/jerry-seinfeld-pr…
Not one great album here.
1995 was a weirdly bad year for music. The post-grunge explosion had faded, and 2nd wave emo and post-rock were about to emerge but hadn't yet, along with bands like Modest Mouse.
The best records that year were probably "Only Built 4 Cuban Linx," "Wowee Zowee," "To Bring You My Love," "Ghost of Tom Joad," Garden Variety's "Knocking the Skill Level," and the first Sparklehorse album (which I had forgotten came out in '95).
Zero Star Reviews retweeted
I am second to no one in my love for George Will, but a music critic he is not. From his 1987 year-in-review column:
“The Beastie Boys (no, not the Iran-contra gang) had their 15 minutes of fame…”
A sponsored Kalshi ad effectively begging people to bet on Ole Miss today. Spoiler: If you had bet on Ole Miss, you would have zero dollars and zero cents and Kalshi would have all your money.
WEBSTER'S DICTIONARY OF AMERICAN ENGLISH (1832): "Mr. Webster's Dictionary contains more inaccuracies, inconsistencies, contradictions, absurdities, and anomalies, than all the Dictionaries that have been published since the days of Johnson." - Sentinel and Democrat, 4/27/1832
STEREOLAB - EMPEROR TOMATO KETCHUP (1996): "If Fellini were to direct, from his grave, a futuristic French farce about the mindlessness of electronic music, this would be the soundtrack. Tastes great, less filling." The Times-Union (Rochester, NY), 6/14/1996
