Keyser Söze

🚨 🚨 NEW ALBUM REVIEW: Tyler Swift’s Dead Poets Society I have spent the last hour listening to this album, shaking with rage, and punching my phone screen. I give this album ZERO stars and STRONGLY encourage all parents not to let their kids listen to it. The album is littered with profanity and references to alcohol, drugs, sex, video games, and witch craft. Here’s why you should avoid this: 1. The very existence of this album is a major patent violation. There is already a movie starring Robin Williams as a teacher with this exact same title where he teaches his students about seizures. Thus, Tyler Swift could only make this album with his consent, which she can’t get because he’s dead. 2. The very first song encourages kids to play Fortnite, which is dangerous. 3. The repeated use of the f-word confirms Tyler is not nearly as good of a role model as Demi Lovato and Ashlee Simpson. 4. There isn’t a single song on this album that holds a candle to “Warm It Up” by Kris Kross. 5. Absolutely no one would be listening to this album or know who she was if her husband wasn’t Jason Kelce. 6. The album is deeply unpatriotic as one of the songs, which I skipped, has London in the title. 7. The album disrespects time shares because she can’t afford a riverside time share in Pigeon Forge like me. You can either love America or you can love this album, but you cannot love both. Do not listen.