Rick Matthews

I'm excited an honored and more than a little turned on! @SiriusXMComedy This is gonna be fun!

The fact that @WGR550 is basically a commercial station that runs occasional sports updates, you would think that their tower would get to at least fucking Elma

I don't know why, but I need to win this.

"Well, if I'm going down, I'm going down big." Me, on this podcast. Also, the Challenger

You know, if @stefondiggs would have thrown a temper tantrum and threw his helmet like Kelsey did, everyone would be talking about it until training camp next year. It's BS, and sports media is trash. Except for @KyleBrandt obviously. #BillsMafia

Hell me help others!! If you can help me reach my goal, I'll let you warm me up? No, I don't like that. I'll let you breath on me! facebook.com/donate/15979851…

I got to pretend to be @iamShaunmurphy this week on @InTheHuntCast so you all should give it a listen

This #SundayNightFootball game is like watching King Geoffrey get into a fight with Ramsey Bolton. With Hodor just saying "Nowdersaguy" for commentary

I just peed AFTER I got out of the shower. On purpose. I guess this is growing up. @blink182 @markhoppus

Come see me on Wednesday, just to prep yourself to go see one of the best this weekend!

Elf on the Shelf. Me- Look, I put him in the tree this time Other parents- ok, this pulley system right here is triggered when Billy gets out of bed causing Ginger Toots to fly across the room and spell out "20 More Days" in edible glitter on his dresser

I've been waiting in my car for 25 minutes at @Walmart for curbside pickup. Explain to me which part of this is easier than going in the store?

It's officially sweatpants weather. And I feel like it's time to remind you ladies...Our eyes are up here. Just kidding. Glance away

Few things in life elicit as much pleasure as freeing a drawstring from the abyss of the other side of the pants

Now you guys can watch @Clayfighter1 and me talk all sorts of shit. Also, spoiler alert, this one has a nip slip. @NobodyWatches moving on up. Like and subscribe! youtu.be/W7hBVadZm4M

I was on this Podcast, we drafted tailgate food. My #1 was Chili. Not just chili, MY chili. Which is like saying I drafted a quarterback, when in reality it was @JoshAllenQB

Thinking it's time I started billing myself as the @terrycrews of fat white guys. Mostly because I can make my boobs dance. But also because I'm endearing and charming.