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Mario (@assertedbullet) profile picture

Mario

@assertedbullet

Somehow 38. He/Him. Convoluted bullshit. 🇬🇹🇲🇽

 San Antonio, TX
Joined May 2009
  • Tweets58.9K
  • Following5.7K
  • Followers752
5.6KMedia
Photo by Mario (@assertedbullet)Photo by Mario (@assertedbullet)Photo by Mario (@assertedbullet)Photo by Mario (@assertedbullet)Photo by Mario (@assertedbullet)Photo by Mario (@assertedbullet)Photo by Mario (@assertedbullet)Photo by Mario (@assertedbullet)Photo by Mario (@assertedbullet)
Me after watching Speed Racer (2008) for the billionth time:
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NRW Laura
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:)
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New favorite John Carpenter movie … Prince of Darkness really is that girl
Image from Soraya Sebghati (@SorayaSpaghetti)
Image from Soraya Sebghati (@SorayaSpaghetti)
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It’s so great that Harper decided to prank call his ex wife in the middle of the movie.
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incorrect—repent!!
Image from mr movie ambassador (@dawsonyassen)
untitled goose name 🪿 (@notallbhas) profile pictureuntitled goose name 🪿@notallbhas18h
countless costumes from The Devils this Halloween, but not one Father Barre. Or this diva. Cowards!
Image from untitled goose name 🪿 (@notallbhas)
Image from untitled goose name 🪿 (@notallbhas)
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I was right
Mario (@assertedbullet) profile pictureMario@assertedbullet15 Nov 2023
I’ve made a mock up of what Pedro Reed could look like
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Godzilla, Abbott’s office is that way
Matt Frank is launching STATE OF THE MONSTERS! (@spankzilla85) profile pictureMatt Frank is launching STATE OF THE MONSTERS!@spankzilla85Feb 22
Godzilla vs Texas (part of the Godzilla vs America series from @IDWPublishing) has finally been announced, featuring a cover by yours truly! Stay tuned for more information soon!
Image from Matt Frank is launching STATE OF THE MONSTERS! (@spankzilla85)
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When I clock out
Anthony Oliveira (@meakoopa) profile pictureAnthony Oliveira@meakoopa27 Jan 2022
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Thinking about Greg Abbott tonight
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Nice try, Lars.
DatPiff (@DatPiff) profile pictureDatPiff
@DatPiff24 Sep 2019
Name a song that you downloaded from LimeWire.
Image from DatPiff (@DatPiff)
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I FaceTimed my dad while I was taking a shit, not realizing that he was at work and everyone could see/hear me pooping.
rachel (@rachelmillman) profile picturerachel@rachelmillman1 Jan 2021
okay. I am late to this question but I’ve done it every year. please tell me the dumbest, funniest thing you did in 2020
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That’s 3,429 too many
unusual_whales (@unusual_whales) profile pictureunusual_whales
@unusual_whalesJul 23
BREAKING: The number of billionaires worldwide has reached a record 3,428, per Forbes
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Francis Scott Key:
MusChampion (@Less_HumbleTeej) profile pictureMusChampion
@Less_HumbleTeej23 Oct 2021
ROCKETS GOING BRAZY
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MICHAEL JAI WHITE DOING RIDER KICKS! THATS CINEMA BABYYYYYYY
IGN (@IGN) profile pictureIGN
@IGN2 Jul 2025
.@MichaelJaiWhite plays a private eye looking for a missing R&B star in the new action-comedy Trouble Man, in theaters August 1: bit.ly/3IatKZV
Image from IGN (@IGN)
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What if Ultraman wore the North Star Mall Boots?
Image from Mario (@assertedbullet)
Image from Mario (@assertedbullet)
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I’m eleven years old. Why am I here
crazy ass moments in nu metal history (@numetal_moment) profile picturecrazy ass moments in nu metal history
@numetal_moment19 Apr 2025
Tweet like you're at Woodstock 99
Image from crazy ass moments in nu metal history (@numetal_moment)
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I feel like I should not be seeing Sam Raimi in a hoodie
Sam Raimi Updates (@SamRaimiUpdates) profile pictureSam Raimi Updates@SamRaimiUpdatesApr 7
Sam Raimi & Bruce Campbell together this weekend at the Hollywood Theater in Portland for a screening of “Ernie & Emma”.
Image from Sam Raimi Updates (@SamRaimiUpdates)
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Prepare for My Greatest Hits
// Regent Mach // (@MachDominus) profile picture// Regent Mach //@MachDominusNov 1
Apparently Twitter can now sort your posts by popularity. What were some of your best posts on this hellsite?
Image from // Regent Mach // (@MachDominus)
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