Mario (@assertedbullet) header
Mario (@assertedbullet) profile picture

Mario

@assertedbullet

Somehow 38. He/Him. Convoluted bullshit. 🇬🇹🇲🇽

 San Antonio, TX
Joined May 2009
  • Tweets58.9K
  • Following5.7K
  • Followers752
5.6KMedia
Photo by Mario (@assertedbullet)Photo by Mario (@assertedbullet)Photo by Mario (@assertedbullet)Photo by Mario (@assertedbullet)Photo by Mario (@assertedbullet)Photo by Mario (@assertedbullet)Photo by Mario (@assertedbullet)Photo by Mario (@assertedbullet)Photo by Mario (@assertedbullet)
Me after watching Speed Racer (2008) for the billionth time:
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New favorite John Carpenter movie … Prince of Darkness really is that girl
Image from Soraya Sebghati (@SorayaSpaghetti)
Image from Soraya Sebghati (@SorayaSpaghetti)
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incorrect—repent!!
Image from mr movie ambassador (@dawsonyassen)
untitled goose name 🪿 (@notallbhas) profile pictureuntitled goose name 🪿@notallbhas21h
countless costumes from The Devils this Halloween, but not one Father Barre. Or this diva. Cowards!
Image from untitled goose name 🪿 (@notallbhas)
Image from untitled goose name 🪿 (@notallbhas)
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Godzilla, Abbott’s office is that way
Matt Frank is launching STATE OF THE MONSTERS! (@spankzilla85) profile pictureMatt Frank is launching STATE OF THE MONSTERS!@spankzilla85Feb 22
Godzilla vs Texas (part of the Godzilla vs America series from @IDWPublishing) has finally been announced, featuring a cover by yours truly! Stay tuned for more information soon!
Image from Matt Frank is launching STATE OF THE MONSTERS! (@spankzilla85)
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When I clock out
Anthony Oliveira (@meakoopa) profile pictureAnthony Oliveira@meakoopa27 Jan 2022
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Thinking about Greg Abbott tonight
Image from Mario (@assertedbullet)
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Nice try, Lars.
DatPiff (@DatPiff) profile pictureDatPiff
@DatPiff24 Sep 2019
Name a song that you downloaded from LimeWire.
Image from DatPiff (@DatPiff)
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I FaceTimed my dad while I was taking a shit, not realizing that he was at work and everyone could see/hear me pooping.
rachel (@rachelmillman) profile picturerachel@rachelmillman1 Jan 2021
okay. I am late to this question but I’ve done it every year. please tell me the dumbest, funniest thing you did in 2020
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That’s 3,429 too many
unusual_whales (@unusual_whales) profile pictureunusual_whales
@unusual_whalesJul 23
BREAKING: The number of billionaires worldwide has reached a record 3,428, per Forbes
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Francis Scott Key:
MusChampion (@Less_HumbleTeej) profile pictureMusChampion
@Less_HumbleTeej23 Oct 2021
ROCKETS GOING BRAZY
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MICHAEL JAI WHITE DOING RIDER KICKS! THATS CINEMA BABYYYYYYY
IGN (@IGN) profile pictureIGN
@IGN2 Jul 2025
.@MichaelJaiWhite plays a private eye looking for a missing R&B star in the new action-comedy Trouble Man, in theaters August 1: bit.ly/3IatKZV
Image from IGN (@IGN)
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What if Ultraman wore the North Star Mall Boots?
Image from Mario (@assertedbullet)
Image from Mario (@assertedbullet)
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I’m eleven years old. Why am I here
crazy ass moments in nu metal history (@numetal_moment) profile picturecrazy ass moments in nu metal history
@numetal_moment19 Apr 2025
Tweet like you're at Woodstock 99
Image from crazy ass moments in nu metal history (@numetal_moment)
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I feel like I should not be seeing Sam Raimi in a hoodie
Sam Raimi Updates (@SamRaimiUpdates) profile pictureSam Raimi Updates@SamRaimiUpdatesApr 7
Sam Raimi & Bruce Campbell together this weekend at the Hollywood Theater in Portland for a screening of “Ernie & Emma”.
Image from Sam Raimi Updates (@SamRaimiUpdates)
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Mario retweeted
kyle (@Caol_MacCormaic) profile picture
kyle@Caol_MacCormaic21h
look what you've done. you've hurt john goodman's feelings. is that what you want to do with your one precious life? hurt john goodman's feelings?
Killa 🌺 (@KillaKreww) profile pictureKilla 🌺
@KillaKrewwNov 2
John Goodman opened up about how the negative reviews for Digger HURT him, saying critics practically KILLED the movie before it even opened, but he still hopes it finds an audience over time like The Big Lebowski and Speed Racer 👀 “Yeah, it hurt. They kind of killed us before we opened. ‘This will only make $5,’ and it’s a good reason for people to avoid it. I’m proud of it, and I had a ball doing it.”
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1970's crime era meets the modern age in Gary Lionelli's soulful score for The Only Living Pickpocket in New York. Blending retro jazzy brass melodies with melancholic and atmospheric moments, Lionelli captures the timeless and romantic heart of the film.

See The Only Living Pickpocket in theaters today.
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Mario retweeted
amanda (@jailedamanda) profile picture
amanda@jailedamandaNov 1
Image from amanda (@jailedamanda)
Elai (@elaifresh) profile pictureElai
@elaifreshOct 30
Can someone explain to a Jew why it is that Catholics appreciate Metal imagery (it’s always skulls, blood and roses with them) but Protestants melt down at the sight of anything approaching PG-13
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Noirvember is here, and our friend and noirvember creator Marya E. Gates (@oldfilmsflicker), recommends us 30 essential noir films to watch this month, from 'The Third Man' and 'In a Lonely Place' to 'Detour', 'Sunset Blvd', and many more. letterboxd.com/lostinfilm_/l…
Image from Lost In Film (@LostInFilm)
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🚨 BREAKING: We have officially entered #Noirvember .
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happy noirvember 🚬
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