Muslim; Human; Student; Sports Enthusiast, in that order. Thoughts & understanding in perpetual state of development. Layman. Sinner
Joined November 2023
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The concept of going for a man who shamelessly talks about his love for breast publicly on social media. 🤌🏾
That said, when you actually find a good, serious guy, such deformities, if it’s really as you’ve described, are one of those things one has to disclose, in a simple & appropriate way without painting vivid pictures. It seems severe and it affects a key attractive point in a woman.
Considering that Muzmatch is an app primarily geared towards single Muslims (and other apps even more so geared towards singles), yes, it’s a safe assumption. Even when you account for a margin of possibly married men, a 2/3 ratio is still so large it dispels a “more women than men in the marriage market” narrative.
What “you’ve seen” isn’t a data set.. and stat correlate to the conclusion of a loneliness issue among men, yes. Also, note that it’s not necessarily a uniquely male issue and I’ve even only mentioned it to make a genderless marital issue point.
She’s very unserious and her husband deserves much better.
1. On the topic of meeting people for a reason and questioning not ending up together… erm… maybe the reason you didn’t end up with them is because that’s not your reason for meeting them?
The saying itself is merely a rhetorical one and not some type of revelation based literal verdict of every interaction. To put too much importance into it can even become superstition (which is haraam). It could literally just be for that single glance or conversation you had with them.
2. Not marrying someone because you’re not attracted to them is very valid and this is perhaps one of the only few good things about the anonymous post. You can—and even then you don’t have to—grow into it after not liking one or two specific physical qualities (esp if it can change) if you generally find them attractive otherwise, but if it’s something that affects basic attraction, as in at all at all, it’s best to part ways.
3. Now to the really silly part. You eventually found a good attractive man you like (in your own words), but because he’s not there yet in terms of something that can always improve (and he has indeed shown willingness and effort in improving), you are already thinking of another man. How ungrateful and philanderous! How long have you even been married for him to suddenly transform into Shaykhul Islām? A man who didn’t deceive you about his prior level o. You can’t even give him some time? I’m sure you even have many flaws he’s also managing, while still loving you wholeheartedly simply because they don’t really affect your primarily values in his life.
Also, while having a husband who can teach you would be nice, it is a LUXURY and not a primary requirement for effective leadership if he’s otherwise generally intelligent and capable. The lapse in knowledge could be an upbringing privilege thing. I mean, I’m sure it’s not like he’s mentally challenged or an idiot or something. Seeking knowledge is primarily a personal responsibility and It’s also not like you’re some ‘ālimah either, thereby causing chemistry or compatibility issues. In fact, he’s your kafā’ah, going off of your descriptions.
Yorubas have a word for people like you and it’s “olójúkòkòrò, olójú kò gbé bìkan”. You better focus on your family and stop that shameless shaytāni indulgence in thoughts of other men as a married woman. Your husband is allowed multiple women under certain circumstances and I’m sure you’d still feel terrible if his mind is occupied with thoughts of other women, specifically as your replacement, (not just unrelated additions) over some largely inconsequential matters. It might sound harsh but that’s the bitter truth you need at this point in time because you’re on some wilding time right now.
Fear Allaah and change your ways. Be a loyal, dutiful wife and respect your marriage. Enroll in madrasah together with your husband and see the situation as a bonding opportunity to learn and grow together. Appreciate the blessing of having such a kind, caring, good man.
Maybe it’s just me but I don’t think people have to discuss every single blemish unless it’s like a huge scar that significantly alters what a normal body part looks like. A line or small patch should be inconsequential, esp in such an obscure place as the thigh.
Imagine having to talk about cellulite, hip dips, stretch marks, birth marks and all. That’d be way too OCD, perpetuate TMI, and create unnecessary anxiety. In fact, some of these are natural parts of seeking certain body types. Real human beings aren’t cartoon characters.
For real grown MEN, little things like that don’t suddenly make someone unattractive anyways. In fact, sometimes, they can add to the peculiarity and uniqueness of a woman’s beauty.
Special kind of stupid and corny man. All the damn time too. SMH
Stephen Jackson reacts to people laughing at fake 49ers player Daejon Love:
“I see y’all laughing at the dude. Y’all ain’t no better than him. A lot of y’all still got hoop dreams, y’all just ain’t walking around with a uniform on.
Y’all can’t laugh at him because y’all do the same thing. The only difference is he’s wearing a helmet and a jersey. Most of y’all are fake, and none of y’all know what you’re talking about.”
Fair for these kuff lot and their munāfiqi allies to attack Muslim women anyhow, including saying they are in bondage apparently (which they’ve always done even before this saga btw), but when their poster girl for “bondage escape” got used, abused and dumped, any Muslim woman saying pim is the devil’s incarnate.
This is why I’ll never have vim for those coming for that zaaniyah (whether I agree with them fully or not), who most definitely did similarly when things were rosy, flexing her fake sinful life in everyone’s face.
How’s it going so far for your used and abused woman “who can”, eh?? 🤡🤡
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I don’t need the 100k… but you can give him on my behalf or to any proper, Islamic charity with receipt show here.
We all know “demeaning” is just a random word you lot use to not want to see any type of inkārul munkar that doesn’t tickle your fancy… I know you said a verse but here you go with an authentic hadith (I’m tryna see something). 👍🏾
An alcoholic gets cancer, after flexing how immune his body is, and a public, ridiculing rejection of teetotalism.
Crowd A (teetotalers): This is why people should stay away from alcohol.
Crowd B (munafiqi): But anyone can get cancer.
Yeah, that’s how silly some of these people look right now. Completely missing the point. Maybe because too many have trivialized offenses against God, but that doesn’t mean everyone else, who still takes enjoining good and forbidding evil seriously, with ghayrah for the deen does.
I don’t give two hoots about what you hate or what annoys you.
My question is: Do you know the lady you quoted or all the ones you’ve been asking to behave like a Muslim personally as well? What does that have to do with the question you’re asked? And if you could make your own retort to others, what makes you special to not be asked of the same?
Answer fast. 🎤
