Conal Elliott

If you've been wired to optimize for achievement, actually leaning into the "real work" you are meant to be doing can feel really bad. This is because you have to mourn the loss of identity you had tied to achieving other people's goals. Not to mention the time it takes to lean into what you are truly meant to do. I think one of the biggest scams of modern work culture is the idea of "Ikigai" - it's this made up western interpretation of a Japanese word and includes a diagram convincing people that "what you can be paid for" is a reasonable thing to expect from work I think if you want to find something only you can do, you must completely release attachment from any sort of outcome, impact, money, respect, etc... In clinging to these expectations, we often take shortcuts to solve for those rather than deepening our connection to the work we are meant to do. The world convinces far too many (including me in my twenties) that we CAN have it all. But the truth is that you can't be anything you want to be you can only be what you truly are. We think doing your own thing is this grand celebration of autonomy and self-determination, not to mention an inevitable arrival at achievement But from what I've seen that only comes sometimes after someone releases to the tragic reality that our interests, curiosities, desires, and proclivities don't fit into an achievement-shaped path. Some people are wired for this of course but its quite hard to tell how many people are deluding themselves and how many are truly meant to be doing that thing. The start of a path that feels good is often filled with sadness and mourning of a past identity, one that got you where you are but won't help you be the person you know you can be.