existential meat (@existentialmeat) header
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Eccentric but effective father. Imperfect but okay enough husband. Pure shithead. Irreverent American. These replies are rated E for Egregious.

Texas
Joined September 2024
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Anyone else have a hard time getting their kids to put their Log™️ away after playing with it?
🤖 Made with AI
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I’m gonna build a diarrhea machine and hook you up to it.
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It’s almost like today is Election Day and they actually know what the base wants so they’re saying anything to make votes happen. This is clearly bullshit.
JUST IN: Trump says US is stopping $4 billion aid to Israel
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Nosir, Scott. I asked you several times to get longer shorts and you shit on American eyes with your straight ticket thighs and I’m not rewarding you for it.
For the last decade, I’ve given myself to the country. I’ve traveled to 40+ states, spent more time with your families than my own, & literally worked myself to the bone. I don’t ask for anything from you, but I’m asking now: Will you do me the honor of voting straight-ticket Republican tomorrow? Will you answer my call to action?
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Can we launch this fucking guy into the sun already
🚨 #BREAKING: Leaked audio reveals Flock CEO told police chiefs Americans against mass surveillance are actually Russian bots.
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Why is everyone so pissed off at Anne Frank right now?
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Being excited to see politicians in person might be the gayest thing a person can be.
Shock and awe is an understatement! @magameg31 @LaceyLynn38
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We’re going to war. Big time.
🚨#BREAKING:The U.S. Army will raise the maximum enlistment age from 34 to 42 years old and remove the waiver requirement for individuals with a single prior conviction for marijuana possession.
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
U.S. Army changes raising max enlistment age to 42 from 35 and removing waiver for single marijuana possession conviction were announced March 2026 effective April 2026, not breaking or new. Prior limit was 35 not 34. goarmy.com/how-to-join/re… militarytimes.com/news/your-mili… stripes.com/branches/army/…
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Free my boy Brink all he ever wanted to do was skate.
Former Disney child star Erik Von Detten sued for alleged elder abuse & fraud
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This came right as my buddy offered to sell his suppressor to me. I was going to go do the paperwork next week. Incredible timing.
Today, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF) released its long-awaited guidance on how suppressors may be transferred using ATF Form 4473 following the landmark ruling in Jensen v. ATF. The new guidance takes effect immediately. This victory started with ASA. We led the effort to eliminate the $200 tax in the One Big Beautiful Bill, then used that win to bring Jensen v. ATF with our partners at the NRA, SAF, FPC, and TSRA and take down the registration requirements the tax had propped up. What the guidance says: Who is covered: Everyone. The court’s injunction covers only the plaintiffs, their members, and their customers, but the Department of Justice is using its enforcement discretion to apply the same policy nationwide. How transfers work: Like any other firearm. You fill out a Form 4473 and pass a NICS background check at your dealer. ATF no longer requires a Form 4, prior approval, or registration. What dealers need to do: Complete a Form 4473, run NICS, and keep the same records required for any other firearm. Sales are limited to residents of the dealer’s state. Dealer-to-dealer transfers no longer require a Form 3. Dealers, manufacturers, and importers must still pay the special occupational tax (SOT). What hasn’t changed: State law still applies. If suppressors are restricted in your state, this guidance does not change that. Some states only allow suppressors that are registered under federal law, and dealers may not make a transfer that violates state or local law. For that reason, ATF will continue to accept and approve Form 4s from anyone who chooses to register. ATF also cautions that this policy could change. Unregistered suppressors would not automatically be grandfathered if enforcement resumed. When in doubt, talk to your dealer before you buy.
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What if they started live-streaming executions of people like this? Would you watch then?
He served 25 years in prison for sexually abusing children, only to be back on the streets trying to do the same thing again. This is disgusting
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This has always been hilarious to me.
Is there a death in a film that makes you laugh??
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Can’t breathe out of water. Gill issue.
Burned through my endorphine allowance for the month. Thrill issue.
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Happy Hannibal Directive Day to those who celebrate.
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He thinks people still watch grease
Imagine being a teenage girl and this thing approaches you with clenched fists talking about how he was in a movie ~50 years ago and wants to take you out sometime.
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I hope one of these is you, you idiot sonofabitch.
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I can’t believe we’re doubting Flight H45B4R4 happened
This quoted post is unavailable.
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Y’all should get in a war but keep it between yourselves. I’m super tired of hearing about it.
I am Israeli. Islam is my enemy.
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Who is watching this humorless bitch’s kid? I bet she chooses Clancy.
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It would be interesting to see Republicans vs. maga vs. democrats. Let’s run that, since maga left Republicans behind with this admin. All this “maga support is bigger than ever” bullshit doesn’t add because there’s a giant swath of Republicans who quit maga early into this shitshow.
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