Sam Minney

I’m alone at the pool and still feel bad about peeing in it

Bass baby they could never make me hate you

😛

have a regular at work that comes in once a week on a first date every single time and I go along with the lie that it’s his first time in. hope he finds love soon i can’t carry on with this charade much longer.

sorry babe i don’t do medicine i only do random street drugs and nicotine every 5 seconds and also drink every night of the week

she pizza on my log until i bleu cheese

to whom it may concern i am very sweaty and stinky

I fear I’ll have to keep going

this isn’t goodbye, it’s see you later rip the pink

bathroom got the cuck chair

mmmmm gonna be blackout drunk in buffalo tonight. maybe tomorrow too. maybe even until next friday.

scooby doo villain after getting outsmarted by me and my friends:

gonna watch the gay episode of the last of us and drink an entire bottle of pinot today

You should’ve seen me in 711. I was in line to pay. And then I locked eyes with the nesquik and it was like I was in a trance. I had to have it

sometimes you gotta separate the puppet from the puppeteer

i am handling life very normally thanks for asking

oh boy oh boy time for my daily words games before bed to tucker out the ol noggin

healing my inner child by smoking three to five cigarettes for dinner

call me backpack the way im always guzzling junk

rip toby keith you would’ve loved drakes dick leak