To overcome anxiety, it can be very useful to create quite a detailed psychosomatic map of how it functions. The method is something like this: 1. Start by sitting down in a comfortable upright position as you would for a formal meditation 2. Try to think about something that is likely to reliably provoke anxiety in you 3. Try to notice where in your body you mostly feel the anxiety - perhaps in your heart or gut (if it feels like your head, try to see if that heady discomfort has roots that extend somewhere deeper into your body) 4. Then experiment with different types of anxiety provoking thoughts: a) First invoke memories of the past you feel would make you anxious (obviously being conscious not to touch things that may be too traumatically overwhelming to be ready to feel) b) Then invoke things about the present that provoke anxiety in you. c) Then bring up aspects of the future that you are anxious about 5. Try to notice where each different anxiety trigger seems to “live” in the body; perhaps some in one region of the gut, some in another, some in one region on the surface of your chest; some deep in your heart and so on 6. Then notice if they cluster together around any categories. These could be eg: a) Temporal categories: Anxious memories seem to live in one part of the body; present anxieties in another, and future anxieties in another b) Emotional object categories: anxieties about self worth seem to live in one part; anxieties about missed opportunities in another; anxieties about love in another and so on. 7. Notice also how these anxiety nodes interact. Perhaps one center seems to be trying to protect another, or numb another out, or distract it from feeling its pain. 8. Notice also how they interact with the outside world. Perhaps some nodes grasp after excitement in the world, some seek out numbing activities, some have a will to impulsive behaviour, some seek oblivion or a freeze response 9. Try to see if you can gain insight into *why* they seek out these activities or interact with the other nodes in the way they do. Feel free to verbally dialogue with them to yield this insight 10. Try to notice how there is no inherent connection between the sensations in the note and the action it is currently associated with 11. Then try to gain insight into how they could re-channel their same impulse into something nourishing or empowering. Again feel free to verbally dialogue with them to yield this insight What can emerge from this exercise is a detailed psychosomatic map of your anxiety. The anxiety is no longer one amorphous blob of disembodied angst but rather a clear ecosystem of nodes with specific granular locations, triggers, relationship, motivations and even dreams for what they wish to be. By bringing all these dynamics into consciousness, you allow the ecosystem and the nodes in it to access the inherent wisdom and compassion of awareness. Often you will find that the ecosystem is remarkably adaptive in spontaneously evolving towards more healthy functioning when it has access to this level of awareness and granular self understanding. This same mapping process can also work for almost any other emotion, including anger, depression, shame etc

my writing process is: 1. i have an idea and let it simmer in the back of my mind for a few years 2. at some point the muse gets fed up and demands several months of my life 3. voice-transcribe all my ideas into a google doc 4. ask Claude to turn the transcription notes into an essay 5. get irrationally upset at how much I hate Claude’s essay. scrap it 6. go line-by-line, telling Claude what I actually wanted each note to say 7. copy the sentence I just typed to Claude back into my google doc 8. eventually it’s an essay 9. (sometimes) publish!