Joined May 2016
there’s no jealously like the one i feel when im doing fucking back and bi day at the gym and i see a girl hitting hamstrings and glutes
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Sept notes app wrapped
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I’m not even kidding put her on #rhony
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when someone close sends me $7 via venmo it’s like damn you can’t imagine small expenses kind of evening out over the course of our lives? you’re closing the tab. you want me dead. just say it
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Lexi retweeted
Oh my god Jude Bellingham
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Feast your eyes on not just the goal of this World Cup, but one of the best goals in World Cup history. Consider the stakes, the moment, the technique. Are you kidding me?!? 🇨🇻
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Not now sweetie. Mommy's busy using her intellect to bludgeon her emotions into catatonic submission
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People who don’t watch Love Island are often surprised to hear that I do but only because they think it’s like The OC or something when really it’s like the Stanford prison experiment
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stunning
COLOMBIA HAS ITS FIRST GOAL OF THE 2026 FIFA WORLD CUP! 🇨🇴 Luis Díaz with a great ball in to Daniel Muñoz!
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Oh gosh, it's almost them fucking cry babies birthdays. Here we go
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This is your sign to have 0 career aspirations because i tried to make lunch for 30 minutes without my phone and had 54 missed texts. Dream small.
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Geoguessed 4 miles away in under 2 minutes 😤💪
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for 6 weeks of each year i allow myself to have love island brain (low cognitive function, irrational opinions, unbridled lust) and i think it’s really good for me. i’ll read a book or something after, idk
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obsessed w this mf
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anticipatory grief is literally the worst feeling in the fucking world like hannah einbinder please get your flowers for understanding that feeling and depicting it so well
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Lexi retweeted
i feel like i'm one of the last 500 people on earth who does not use an ai chatbot in daily life
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My buddy who's a firefighter: I've been having a really hard time at work lately Me (picturing him at the end of a hose that's spraying too strongly and he's flying all over the place and can't get down): that's hilarious
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Life after you accept you’re a little intense
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