@mlstrat

attorney! love: sports (f1, pga, football, basketball, tennis), the south, birds, adventure, and butter; all views mine

 washington, d.c.
Joined May 2022
  • Tweets15.8K
  • Following1.9K
  • Followers7.8K
2.8KMedia
Maria retweeted
drew@ImNotOwned5h
This dude being 29 and looking exactly like Ron Desantis is killing me
Joe Mitchell
@joemitchelliowaOct 24
Lindsay James missed over half of her votes in the Iowa legislature. When she did show up, she was voting to give illegal aliens welfare and men in women's sports. Now, she wants a pay raise and a job promotion to bring her Portland, Oregon values to Iowa.
38
103
5
4,369
52,085
Maria retweeted
Shafeeq
@Y2SHAF14h
Don’t invite me anywhere with backless seating. I’ve reached an age where that genuinely ruins my entire evening
12
921
30
7,844
151,314
They opened a gate to Oblivion in Chattanooga last night
76
168
44
2,484
160,848
Maria retweeted
ana
@cachedeposits6h
i can feel my brain allocating lifelong storage to this post and i’m not happy
zam
@zamdoteth16h
I just found out the GPT in ChatGPT stands for Gomputer Pomputer Tomputer
7
22
650
14,617
my mom is 70 today and our hearts are so full
4
100
1,239
really feeling left out of the discourse by having never been to the cheesecake factory 🥲
5
1
21
907
This is actually what college football is all about
Em
@emily_pontiffOct 24
Just watched a UCF tailgater earnestly ask a BYU fan “well, would you want to shotgun a soda?” 😭
11
610
1
14,156
216,762
Helicopter landing on Jon Lovetts front lawn: “I need you for one last punch up”
Patrick Svitek
@PatrickSvitekOct 24
Obama in Ohio says Trump has "got the White House looking like Saddam Hussein opened a Cheesecake Factory"
4
32
1,306
38,814
Blue wave indicator
Pop Base
@PopBaseOct 23
The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders have unionized.
5
312
15,221
114,272
no one is doing it like my mother (tone indicator: reproachful)
2
40
1,599
resolved to be better at responding to texts in the last quarter of the year so now i take these little 5-10 breaks throughout the day and call it “catching up on my correspondence”
2
44
1,150
there’s a dormant feeling of nirvana inside of me that is only activated when i roam the aisles of a suburban target very late at night. i leave an hour and a half later, $157 poorer, unsure exactly of what happened during the fugue state
2
82
1,607
the love is blind guy is conventionally attractive
6
31
2,111
NEWS: the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders have unionized and the Cowboys have agreed to recognize the union
94
2,445
495
25,503
780,356
my mom’s surgery was three days ago. i haven’t done anything strenuous. why am i still exhausted
6
57
1,459
unghhhhhhh
1
4
332
how it feels to be a democrat in fall 2026
29
392
13
5,147
116,593
way too proud of myself for this one
6
98
5,705
87,467
They don’t want you to know that you can say babe platonically and bro romantically
7
1,302
131
7,811
101,795
Maria retweeted
mike@mikeofficialOct 22
I’m ready to have the conversation about the Wirecutter video slandering Alison Roman’s tomato sauce if you are.
5
3
262
22,497
Load more