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Philip O'Reilly

@orphmi

I write humorous - at least to me - articles here: https://teapaw.org/t.co/IVsnFWB1tt If you feel I've earned a tip:

 Vancouver, British Columbia
buymeacoffee.com/schrodingerschicken
Joined January 2012
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My smart toilet called me in for a meeting this morning. Apparently, the fridge is trying to kill me. Or him. He’s unclear on which bothers him more. Link in reply 👇
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I wrote Ullmark when I meant Hellebuyck.
Philip O'Reilly (@orphmi) profile picturePhilip O'Reilly
@orphmi5h
Replying to @FriedgeHNIC
Ullmark, Tkchuk, and Larkin are winning the PR battle for the owners. I would support the owners locking out the players to kill the no trade clause. I'm sick of whiney multi-millionaires.
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Still don’t have a costume? Check the weather. Then dress for the decade.
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schrodingerschicken.substack…
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Philip O'Reilly retweeted
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Philip O'Reilly
@orphmiOct 28
I swear my wife believes that if she asks me to do something while I'm distracted, it will incept into my mind. That, or live sports makes the television completely invisible to her.
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Two wrongs don't make a right. They also don't make a left. So, I guess I'm lost.
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I swear my wife believes that if she asks me to do something while I'm distracted, it will incept into my mind. That, or live sports makes the television completely invisible to her.
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You’re not too old for Halloween. You’re just old enough to root for the right character.
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Tuscans - Insane. 😂
The True Size of Maps (@TrueSizeOfMaps) profile pictureThe True Size of Maps@TrueSizeOfMapsOct 28
Stereotypes of Italians
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The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy. — Sam Levenson
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Regret is one sided. No one ever looks back and thinks, "I was too classy."
Gino Hard (@GinoHard_) profile pictureGino Hard
@GinoHard_Oct 27
Sens owner Michael Andlauer revealed on @ComingInHotSens what Brady Tkachuk told the Ottawa bench after scoring in his return 🫣 After Tkachuk's goal, Florida gave up five unanswered goals and lost the game 5-1 😭
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There are plenty of reasons not to be a dick. This is one more.
SensCentral (@SensCentral) profile pictureSensCentral
@SensCentralOct 27
Per Michael Andlauer on @ComingInHotSens: Brady Tkachuk said "Some things never change eh boys" as he skated by the #Sens bench after scoring A Few Moments Later: his team gave up 5 unanswered, his giveaway led to the game winner & his night ended in a temper tantrum
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Ten thousand years of selective breeding and this is where we landed. Worth it.
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All the Halloween memes are here: schrodingerschicken.substack…
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If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. — Anonymous
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Parents don’t buy Halloween candy. They outsource the collection to small, unpaid contractors.
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Dressing up your pets for Halloween is perfectly normal. If you’re into that kind of thing. (Weirdo.)
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All the memes are here: schrodingerschicken.substack…
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