vasectomy corporation (@riftbound) header
vasectomy corporation (@riftbound) profile picture

legion, 29, he/they/it. Horror-loving hockey-goaltending spider-keeping freak. play Lobotomy Corporation

Joined May 2018
Photo by vasectomy corporation (@riftbound)Photo by vasectomy corporation (@riftbound)Photo by vasectomy corporation (@riftbound)Photo by vasectomy corporation (@riftbound)Photo by vasectomy corporation (@riftbound)Photo by vasectomy corporation (@riftbound)Photo by vasectomy corporation (@riftbound)Photo by vasectomy corporation (@riftbound)Photo by vasectomy corporation (@riftbound)Photo by vasectomy corporation (@riftbound)
why don't you get totally soaked to the bone taking care of horses in the pouring rain and maybe then you'll feel better
3
3
3
21
there was a minute in the third period where the opposing team had a guy just standing in my crease and one of my team mates was shouting "CREASE VIOLATION" but didnt do anything about it. When im keyed in enough to start shoving people yall better watch out
1
62
Mostly right now im focused on 1) tracking the puck 2) staying square to the puck 3) understanding the positions of the other players 4) predicting the play. So when shit like this happens it takes me too long to process it and fix it. But one day soon that will no longer be true
33
It can happen. Yippee
per caught a shot in his glove :D
1
7
94
The only two scores my team seems to be capable of are 2-1 and 1-6 its kind of terrifying
1
1
95
There was no reason it should have been the latter tonight when we had a full bench 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
1
26
vasectomy corporation retweeted
as I was standing outside the building chatting with one of per’s teammates about gender and being like “yep i’m she/they ^^” an old guy walked out of the building, saw me, and said “NICE BOOTS, BOY! LOVE THOSE BOOTS, BOY! HAD A PAIR LIKE THAT MYSELF ONCE, BOY!” and disappeared
1
6
194
DESPITE a beautiful electric first period we had an absolutely horrible hockey game tonight I need beautiful women to comfort me
1
2
69
First period I was block shots and effortlessly caught a puck in my glove I was so happy. My team was intercepting passes and maintaining possession and being aggressive and blocking shot and it was beautiful. In second period they forgot how to play hockey
1
2
50
And I was fuckin swiss cheese idk there were breakaways i was SURE I had. I was on angle and matching speed and reading the shot. and they just got past me like I wasn't even there. UGH!!!!!!! the beautiful game....
2
37
vasectomy corporation retweeted
im gonna give per’s team’s defensemen adderall before the game so they can REMEMBER WHAT THEYRE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING (KEEPING THE PUCK OUT OF THE OTHER TEAMS POSSESSION) and don’t get me STARTED on the offense…
1
1
5
143
vasectomy corporation retweeted
all alone in his goalie cubby…
1
11
168
vasectomy corporation retweeted
DATA: Some kind of ray or field, or maybe a particle, is just fucking our shit up severely, captain. PICARD: I want that ray, field, or particle contained.
16
613
5
4,991
101,440
vasectomy corporation retweeted
Sir Patrick Stewart describes his first experience of a Hamburger in America. (You’ll read this in his voice)
240
3,801
341
43,042
1,651,104
vasectomy corporation retweeted
gizmo posing for the camera
17
1,593
34
24,775
126,227
vasectomy corporation retweeted
First base coach talking to a runner: "Ok so stay here until you can go to the next one. If you get to that one try to get to the third one. A colleague of mine is waiting there for you"
33
985
9
23,006
401,934
Oh they gave you a pike? Yeah man that’s cool. Cool. Oh this? Yeah it’s my halberd. They decided I was halberd material I guess. But hey pikes are cool! You pike guys are the foundation you know?
50
1,634
20
26,499
339,139
vasectomy corporation retweeted
horrible day. a burger will soothe my sick American soul
24
2,223
85
15,043
177,053
vasectomy corporation retweeted
The beautiful game
12
69
15
2,291
187,974
devin cooley you have charmed me body and soul
1
3
113
he's the realest one out there. bewitching
1
3
59
NL started playing tape to tape again and I was so delighted to see that the canadian team featured poulin and desbiens. my beloveds
3
90