Colonel Wisdom (@screamcummer) header
Colonel Wisdom (@screamcummer) profile picture

Writer and Artist. Fighting obesity and depression.

Joined October 2019
Colonel Wisdom retweeted
Bats be like “Where am I? Oh. Where am I? Oh. Where am
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Read these all in one day. And they're also the only books I've ever read
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Colonel Wisdom retweeted
BREAKING: ‘Backrooms’ director Kane Parsons has been tapped by A24 to direct ‘The Happy Smiler,’ a horror project based on a creepy Internet meme
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Colonel Wisdom retweeted
Curious how there was just this big uproar about how it’s unambiguously awesome to direct all your violent libidinal energy toward pedophiles but when it’s frat guys raping a woman you have to be super careful and consider all the facts
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This the shit that'll have ya man tucked in asleep at 9pm
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Colonel Wisdom retweeted
Replying to @notbenfish
[one hour after putting out those highlighter yellow/green guys holding a flag] Honey...there's a stranger standing in front of the house. Tell the kids to stay inside.
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I really hate having to do this, believe me, but I’m getting married in two months and I’m flat broke. It’s for my Loony and my brother (old heads might remember Luke) so I’m swallowing my pride. Will love any help you can give gofund.me/86bf26978
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Colonel Wisdom retweeted
Yes, I know things can look a little glum at present. But , for now cheer up. From us.
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Statement from the Office of U.S. Senator Lindsey Graham (R-South Carolina).
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Colonel Wisdom retweeted
Every Robert Eggers movie takes us to a faraway time and place and imagines what the Green Goblin would be doing there
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Colonel Wisdom retweeted
Homeless guy after receiving $2 and a “have a great day” from me: Huh! I guess sometimes being homeless, ain’t so bad…
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23YO: {stubs toe} Ow lol. Fuck 78YO: {stubs toe} {whole leg turns crimson red} What Is My Son’s Name
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Having sex with someone who has a cold is technically rape. They can't consent
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Colonel Wisdom retweeted
My victim said the funniest thing the other day
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Just found out I'm going to be on the next season of the bachelor as the bachelor
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There are, low estimate, tens of millions of people in this country i will enjoy to see die. My self-preservation is almost entirely based around how good it will feel.
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Colonel Wisdom retweeted
Ich habe meiner Frau ein neues Auto gekauft, weil sie sich in letzter Zeit gut benommen hat
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I'm learning about transcendental Judaism from my Israeli female Rabbi, Yoni Steamer-Habeeb
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Colonel Wisdom retweeted
Your dasher ThaFoodToucha is approaching with your order!
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Turd In The Toilet Take It Out And Boil It
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