πΊππππππ π½πππππππππ, π±πππ π΅ππππ, πΎπππππ*ππ€π€¬ *α΅βΏα΅ α΅Κ°α΅ α΅αΆαΆα΅Λ’αΆ¦α΅βΏα΅Λ‘ Λ’α΅Κ³α΅Κ³αΆ¦Λ’α΅ α΅α΅βΏαΆ¦Λ’ Join me on Bluesky @thefishpants.bsky.social
Hinterlands of Florida, USA
Joined March 2009
- Tweets25K
- Following3.7K
- Followers3.4K
- Likes65.2K
Pinned Tweet
Checking out. Keeping this account alive in case this platform ever gets sold to an adult again, but I'll be at the other place if you're looking for me. βοΈ
The Fishpants retweeted
brains in front of zombies on treadmills would provide a source of sustainable energy for the apocalypse but what do i know iβm just a girl.
RIP David Lynch, I know Heaven has a special place for you. A weird, creepy, dreamlike place with 1950s music playing and at least one prolific character actor. Also there are probably like 85000 people who have been waiting to ask you some questions.
The Fishpants retweeted
Whenever Capital One asked βWhatβs in your wallet?β I was always embarrassed that it was a Burger King coupon and a Trojan condom that both expired in 1998.
The Fishpants retweeted
Sometimes I worry about humanity, then I see the βdo not pet the dogsβ sign in the airport security line and know weβll be ok.
The Fishpants retweeted
π THURSDAY CONTEST π
This week's theme: DRAGONS
LETβS TALK ABOUT DRAGONS AND STUFF.
Give us up to 3 π NEWπ tweets (written today) about all things DRAGON!
Open to all size accounts.
Ends 10PM EDT π₯³
Welcome to the 1275th annual Evil Wizard's Convention!
A few quick announcements:
To the owner of a BLUE dragon, you're blocking the golem's entrance, we need you to move it.
Necromancers PLEASE keep your undead hordes INSIDE the pentagram, we don't want a repeat of last year.
The Fishpants retweeted
I was today years old when I found out that the mile high club is not when you eat a Denver omelette in an airplane bathroom.
The Fishpants retweeted
"Peanut Butter as a Coping Mechanism"
My new holistic medicine guide? or
Title of my Autobiography?
The Fishpants retweeted
I like how βenergy barsβ are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.
The Fishpants retweeted
If you're standing right next to me I will not find that thing you asked for. But if you leave it will magically appear.
The Fishpants retweeted
Due to budget cuts, we can no longer take you to Funky TownΒ It's now divided into Funky Hamlet and Funky Incorporated Township
The Fishpants retweeted
me: dating is hard
me on a date: like what if godzilla was an atheist and we just named him that