I try to eat a mostly whole food diet but I fear the palm oil maltitol filled wheyslop products are really really good for making sure ur protein needs are met in a deficit. One must assume the optimal amount of slop is nonzero

Making a surveillance dashboard tracking all my female friends’ locations + aggregating their personal data and calling it Galantir

Tipping culture is so confusing. I tried tipping the cop who pulled me over for speeding and he arrested me for bribery. God forbid a woman support essential workers???

You’re building flying cars? The owner of the Covid-conscious bar in Massachusetts had to leave for clown school and you’re building fucking flying cars???

Ik my frontal lobe is developed bc I find old navy lowkey cute now

My bf and I made the mistake of going to an experimental coffee pop-up in NYC. We’d just spent an insane amount of time walking in the pouring rain and we were tired, hungry, and desperately in need of caffeine so decided to pull up. The line was a sea of microbangs and enormous trousers. Everyone looked like they could explain the history of a lamp for 45 minutes without ever mentioning whether it provides light. In retrospect, this should have been sufficient warning that we were about to order some bullshit. In our exhausted state, we ordered the special without bothering to look at the ingredients. This was a stupid oversight, because the special contained espresso, dashi milk, kombu, fermented rice, and fucking FISH FLAKES. In coffee. A beautiful beverage that has enjoyed a dignified existence for ages without the involvement of marine life!!! I’m increasingly convinced this entire subculture is locked in a status-signaling arms race where the ability to enjoy something is actually a mark against it. A normal latte tastes good, which is precisely why it has 0 cultural value. Any idiot can enjoy a latte. To demonstrate that you possess taste and a truly sophisticated palate, you must drink something that tastes like the drainage system of a fish market, maintain a pensive expression, and comment on its “complexity”. Bc why were ppl at the cafe pretending to enjoy ts lmao And the beautiful thing is nobody can call bs. Because the second you admit you don’t like the fishy espresso, you’ve exposed yourself as an uncultured moron incapable of appreciating experimental gastronomy. The entire status hierarchy of this subculture depends on everyone being too terrified of appearing unsophisticated to admit that something tastes like shit. The highest compliment you can pay a drink in these circles isn’t “delicious,” it’s “interesting,” which the universal term for something you suspect you're supposed to admire but would never voluntarily experience twice. So everyone just keeps escalating. Today it’s a fish latte, tomorrow it’s a sardine cortado garnished with a single cigarette ash, and 30 people in those fuckass Tabi shoes will call it some shit like “challenging but rewarding”. Someone will write an essay about how the discomfort is actually the point, etc etc It’s a prisoner’s dilemma sitch. Everyone is pretending to enjoy progressively more repulsive things because nobody wants to be the first person to admit that the emperor is naked and his coffee tastes like a tide pool. Nobody actually wants fish coffee. They want to be the sort of person who has tried fish coffee. The beverage itself is completely incidental to the performance of having taste. The coffee is more of a loyalty test than a beverage. And tbc, nobody forced us to go. We are two grown adults who willingly stood in that line and proceeded with the transaction. We are going to get pumpkin spice lattes now. Ps: Of course it was $37.58 for the two fuckass drinks. Oh NYC.

Aer lingus planes are so cute. The little shamrock on the tail oh my goodness

I have a lot of patience for babies crying on planes but when a toddler throws a tantrum I’m like come on man you’re 3 this is getting embarrassing

Tapping the sign

Why does this Uwu emoji come up when I type Twitter