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TASmith (@wherestrist) profile picture

TASmith

@wherestrist

My name is Tristan A. Smith. I'm a stand-up comedian, writer, producer, and actor. If you're following me you probably know this.

 Chicago IL
wherestrist.com
Joined March 2014
  • Tweets9.5K
  • Following901
  • Followers907
1.3KMedia
Photo by TASmith (@wherestrist)Photo by TASmith (@wherestrist)Photo by TASmith (@wherestrist)Photo by TASmith (@wherestrist)Photo by TASmith (@wherestrist)Photo by TASmith (@wherestrist)Photo by TASmith (@wherestrist)Photo by TASmith (@wherestrist)Photo by TASmith (@wherestrist)Photo by TASmith (@wherestrist)
[Whenever I see a hot lady] Me: She could GET it. [Realizing I'm terrified at the mere thought of intimacy.] Me (cont'd): I don't know WHERE she's gonna get it but I wish her well on her journey.
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and if you started using the r-word again in the last 2-4 years? that's right. 25 to life, bench trial. and the judge presiding has pronouns you never heard in your life
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I wanna see Roe v Wade codified TOMORROW
Pop Base (@PopBase) profile picturePop Base
@PopBaseNov 4
James Talarico has won the U.S. Senate election in Texas, defeating Republican Ken Paxton. (via NBC) He becomes the first Democrat elected to the U.S. Senate from Texas since 1988.
Image from Pop Base (@PopBase)
Image from Pop Base (@PopBase)
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'In 1860, an enslaved man named Sheppard Peek was listed among the possessions of William Peek. His value was placed at $1400. More than a century and a half later, Sheppard’s great-great-granddaughter, Keisha Lance Bottoms, was elected governor of GA' ajc.com/politics/2026/11/kei…
Keisha Lance Bottoms and the long road from Crawfordville to Governor’s Mansion

Keisha Lance Bottoms and the long road from Crawfordville to Governor’s Mansion

More than 160 years after her ancestors were enslaved in Georgia, the former Atlanta mayor has made history as the first Black woman elected governor.

ajc.com
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Do that for a couple of these judges nobody likes...
JAY🤘🏽🐻⬇️ (6-2) (@Directhim) profile pictureJAY🤘🏽🐻⬇️ (6-2)@DirecthimNov 4
Good. Better. Best 2026?
Image from JAY🤘🏽🐻⬇️ (6-2) (@Directhim)
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They often friend me before anyone knows it's a one night stand and now I'm stuck with this digital albatross because I can't have her thinking that the whole friend group is ghosts.
Skyler Higley (@skyler_higley) profile pictureSkyler Higley@skyler_higleyNov 4
Instagrams suggested to follow is funny it’s like “what about that one girl your friend fucked then ghosted would that be a fun one?”
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Buy a vowel? In this cnmy?
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I feel like I can either work one day a week and use the other days for recuperation, or I can work 5 days a week but you gotta give me drugs or massages to balance out the toll on my body. #ConfessionalMondays
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Do you need a CFO?
Becca O'Neal 🍒 (@becca_oneal) profile pictureBecca O'Neal 🍒@becca_onealNov 2
you're right. i can do it. send me the money.
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First time I’ve ever gotten to use this GIF
Dov Kleiman (@NFL_DovKleiman) profile pictureDov Kleiman
@NFL_DovKleimanOct 29
𝗧𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚: Giants TE Thomas Fidone has a side hustle as a tattoo artist in his free time during the season. Some of these tattoos are extremely impressive.
Image from Dov Kleiman (@NFL_DovKleiman)
Image from Dov Kleiman (@NFL_DovKleiman)
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Recorded with my DJI @KevOnStage
Kevín (@KevOnStage) profile pictureKevín
@KevOnStageOct 30
Now what about what I said warranted this response?
Image from Kevín (@KevOnStage)
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“You already made that joke” Yeah no shit you think Tom Petty played Free Falling just once?
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it’s “cast,” not “casted.” it’s “cost,” not “costed.” they are irregular verbs. please, people, this was not an issue six years ago. i am begging you to realize that you are being systematically dumbed down.
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I’ve been sick for the last week because my body decided to punish me for having fun and the weather decided to punish me for being outside. #ConfessionalMondays
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Made some really wise investments for the future today. Unfortunately, they were primarily for the characters in Grand Theft Auto V. #ConfessionalMondays
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What kind of fuck ass country has multi generational school shooting survivor families
New York Post (@nypost) profile pictureNew York Post
@nypostOct 17
Mom who survived school shooting coaches son through Oregon attack: 'Please be as quiet as possible' trib.al/0dxoVCa
Image from New York Post (@nypost)
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For sale: mechanical bird, not for sale
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Damn, Hulk ain’t seen his son in 4 years???
Daily Tatiana Maslany (@SestraHulk) profile pictureDaily Tatiana Maslany@SestraHulkOct 13
The finale of She-Hulk: Attorney at Law premiered 4 years ago today! 💚
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Fan Mail.
A screenshot of a message from someone telling me to move around less on stage.

ALT A screenshot of a message from someone telling me to move around less on stage.

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I don’t just add to discourse. If you want to see me do stand-up, go to wherestrist.com Next show: 10/11 | 7:00 pm | Hee-Haw See-Saw I The Playground Theater
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At the age now where I can hurt my back by sitting down wrong. But young enough to still be able to fix it by lying down correctly. #ConfessionalMondays
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