geek dad trying to make sense of the world
Phoenix, AZ
Joined March 2007
- Tweets6.7K
- Following859
- Followers402
- Likes657
Yo @VenmoSupport - Charity profiles have been hosed for days and all your support folks will say is, “the engineers are working on a fix but there is no ETA.” This is terrible: school is starting back up, we’re on our biggest fundraising season, we can’t use Venmo. HELP!
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Chris Wickersham retweeted
Trump promised to fix the economy.
Biden is doing it.
Trump promised to bring back manufacturing jobs.
Biden has done it.
Trump said he would lower illegal immigration.
Biden has done it.
Trump promised to lower unemployment.
Biden has done it.
Last election, I voted for Biden because he was running against Trump.
This election I’m voting for Biden cause he’s getting the job done!
#Biden2024
#BrianHopkinsforCongress
So, @MrCooper is the worst mortgage company I have ever done business with. We originally went with @QuickenLoans but they sold us to this terrible mess of a company almost immediately. Good luck ever removing PMI from your loan if you work with these scammers.
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PSA: I live 11 miles from the stadium where #SuperBowlLVII is going to take place in just under a week and it’s 70 degrees right now. Bring your summer clothes if you’re from the home of the #KansasCityChiefs or the #Eagles.
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Chris Wickersham retweeted
[doorbell rings]
Who is it?
“It’s Ben.”
Ben from work, or Ed Robertson from Barenaked La-
[door crashes open]
“ONE WEEK SINCE Y
Chris Wickersham retweeted
I clink my fork against my glass until the bride and groom kiss. Others join me clinking and the couple is compelled to disrobe. The whole room stands and clinks as the frightened lovers consummate before us. Strangers file in clinking glasses as the sobbing bride devours the gro
Chris Wickersham retweeted
Alexa, what time is it?
“It is 5:07 PM.”
🙂
“Due to scattered clouds and smog, it feels like 6:23 PM.”
😕
“Would you like to hear tomorrow’s time?”
☹️
“Time was invented in 2300 BCE by Sumerian philosopher-king Jemdethephe-”
ALEXA STOP
Chris Wickersham retweeted
ME [browsing gay porn]: What about beefcakes in pantyhose?
MY WIFE [estranged]: I think I remember the film. And as I recall, I think… we both kind of liked it?
ME [pressing play]: Well, that’s one thing we’ve got…
Chris Wickersham retweeted
Folks. I’m tired of washing my hands before surgery so I’m not going to do it any longer. If you get an infection, it’s not my problem.
Yo @HelloFresh you’ve got to come up with a way to mark a meal, “Never deliver this to me again.” There’s an ingredient in one of your sauces that makes my partner sick every time and it just gets auto-selected constantly! Please let me stop this meal from ever coming again!
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Holy mother of God, @tigerpantss and @entertainedmatt you have got to watch “Backyard Bar Wars.” Please God, tell me this is the job you got Becca. “Dang Chris, we needed that washer!”
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Hey @BuckeyeAZPD, distracted driving is the number one cause of traffic fatalities. It doesn’t exactly inspire confidence when we see your officers using their cell phones while driving. You might want to spread the word ... #distracteddriving #DistractedDriver #policethepolice
Chris Wickersham retweeted
Socially-distanced dance parties are just how we do it at #FirstPHX! DJs Freedom Hailey & Dela Gray threw a celebration of democracy near our #BlackLivesMatter mural! Thanks @azcentral & credit to Thomas Hawthorne for the pics! #MaskUpAZ Read the article: ow.ly/x6AU50Cg8Yb
