geek dad trying to make sense of the world
Phoenix, AZ
Joined March 2007
- Tweets6.7K
- Following859
- Followers402
- Likes657
Chris Wickersham retweeted
Trump promised to fix the economy.
Biden is doing it.
Trump promised to bring back manufacturing jobs.
Biden has done it.
Trump said he would lower illegal immigration.
Biden has done it.
Trump promised to lower unemployment.
Biden has done it.
Last election, I voted for Biden because he was running against Trump.
This election I’m voting for Biden cause he’s getting the job done!
#Biden2024
#BrianHopkinsforCongress
Chris Wickersham retweeted
[doorbell rings]
Who is it?
“It’s Ben.”
Ben from work, or Ed Robertson from Barenaked La-
[door crashes open]
“ONE WEEK SINCE Y
Chris Wickersham retweeted
I clink my fork against my glass until the bride and groom kiss. Others join me clinking and the couple is compelled to disrobe. The whole room stands and clinks as the frightened lovers consummate before us. Strangers file in clinking glasses as the sobbing bride devours the gro
Chris Wickersham retweeted
Alexa, what time is it?
“It is 5:07 PM.”
🙂
“Due to scattered clouds and smog, it feels like 6:23 PM.”
😕
“Would you like to hear tomorrow’s time?”
☹️
“Time was invented in 2300 BCE by Sumerian philosopher-king Jemdethephe-”
ALEXA STOP
Chris Wickersham retweeted
ME [browsing gay porn]: What about beefcakes in pantyhose?
MY WIFE [estranged]: I think I remember the film. And as I recall, I think… we both kind of liked it?
ME [pressing play]: Well, that’s one thing we’ve got…
Chris Wickersham retweeted
Folks. I’m tired of washing my hands before surgery so I’m not going to do it any longer. If you get an infection, it’s not my problem.
Chris Wickersham retweeted
Socially-distanced dance parties are just how we do it at #FirstPHX! DJs Freedom Hailey & Dela Gray threw a celebration of democracy near our #BlackLivesMatter mural! Thanks @azcentral & credit to Thomas Hawthorne for the pics! #MaskUpAZ Read the article: ow.ly/x6AU50Cg8Yb
Chris Wickersham retweeted
When I was buying my house, it blew my mind when my lender asked if my family couldn’t just gift me the down payment money, saying that gifts/loans of $50k to $100k weren’t uncommon from families of first-time homebuyers. That’s the 400-year head start we don’t have.
Chris Wickersham retweeted
Honestly it's hard to construct a better metaphor for the Trump administration than the fact that the United States is now bombing its own military bases.
Chris Wickersham retweeted
HOOVER DOES IT‼️Gators advance to their 10th WCWS in the last 12 years. #GoGators🐊🐊
Chris Wickersham retweeted
Even though my bracket is busted and my team is out, my family is still enjoying #MarchMadness because the @PizzaHut P’Zone is back after its debut 17 years ago. Ordering the P’Zone for only $5 is probably the only guaranteed win today: goo.gl/983jyu #PizzaHutPartner
Chris Wickersham retweeted
It's here! Click the link to vote in the first round of our March Movie Madness. This year we are matching up comic book movies to see which one will come out on top. Voting will be open until 03/25 for Round 1. #MarchMadness #ComicBooks #PodernFamily
goo.gl/forms/ccUXswTczPTIzK5…
Chris Wickersham retweeted
We are pleased as punch (which is pretty pleased) to announce the recipients of the Dad 2.019 Miller Grants: @JaredBilski @griswolddad @BeAModernFather @TexasDadBlog @SSAGL17 @will592 & @fighting4answrs! Can't wait to see you in San Antonio! dad2summit.com/2018/12/07/an…
Chris Wickersham retweeted
if Obama was president and a tape existed of him telling lawyer to pay off his mistress in cash the GOP would have repealed the Emancipation Proclamation by now
