A German Shepherd dog guarding his farm. The dog, the myth, the legend. One dog's perspective on the world. Bears are wussies. #animaltwt

The Farm
Joined June 2024
For those of you new here, I'm a brave, loyal, dutiful farm German shepherd dog who protects his pack, his farm, and then myself. I fear nothing, not even thunder and suspicious plastic bags. I want to eat all the things. Tweeting the world through a dog's perspective.
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My counter-proposal the farmer sleeps outside with the shotgun and the German shepherd sleeps in the warm bed was met with scorn and derision. My humans aren't big on constructive criticism.
Due to reports of coyotes, it was suggested I sleep in the barn to protect the livestock. First of all, how heckin' dare you. Second, what tf do you expect ME to do if a pack of coyotes show up? I find this suggestion to be deeply insulting & have rejected it out of hand.
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Due to reports of coyotes, it was suggested I sleep in the barn to protect the livestock. First of all, how heckin' dare you. Second, what tf do you expect ME to do if a pack of coyotes show up? I find this suggestion to be deeply insulting & have rejected it out of hand.
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Mom set off the smoke alarm cooking dinner. Kept my composure? Absolutely not. Shook like a leaf? Yes. Got the heckin’ out of there? Also yes. Don’t tell the cat.
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Could have been the cat. Where were you, @CatOfCrisis?
Mom and Dad pointed out the claw scratches on their bedroom door. Like some crazed animal trying to get in. They may suspect me, but can prove...nothing.
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Crowdfunding one of these babies. Might go fight a coyote later.
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Mom and Dad pointed out the claw scratches on their bedroom door. Like some crazed animal trying to get in. They may suspect me, but can prove...nothing.
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I'd like to weigh in here
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A new threat to my farm emerges.
BREAKING: Local coyote gains 20 followers. Authorities are concerned. 🚨
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Outside the cold wind is howling, but I’m warm and safe between mom and dad. And they are warm and safe with me. grok.com/imagine/post/7eff3b…
🤖 Made with AI
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It gets worse. Humans "accidentally" dropped a very hot fry on the floor. They used my greed against me.
Replying to @DogOutOfControl
What? Dis is not fair
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Humans caught on that I was running a successful double-feeding operation. So they bought a tracking board. This is an outrage.
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Dishwasher broke. Humans had to unclog it. Serves them right. It's not like I haven't offered a pre-wash service, free of charge.
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When the humans turned on the kitchen lights in the wee hours of the morning I was already investigating the suspicious leftovers. "Bad dog!" was uncalled for.
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