My dad moved to another state when I was a kid. He didn't disappear dramatically. He just... stopped being there. For a long time I didn't have language for what that cost me. I wrote a novel about it. Not my story exactly — but the shape of it. What it does to a man when he grows up without a father present. What it costs him to feel...anything. And what it looks like when someone finally chooses to stay. The book is called Strong Like Wildflowers. But this isn't really a post about the book. It's a post about the question I spent years not knowing how to ask, what does it mean to be strong, if strength also requires vulnerability and presence? And what does it take to pass healing, rather than emptiness, forward?

To be a man… Is not to be immune. It is not numbness. To be a man… Is to feel the pain The heartbreak and regret And to keep going. Keep hoping Keep building Never to stop until breath stops To care past hurt Walk past fatigue Love past hope It won’t be easy Do it for others and for you Be a man

The heart desires loyal companions to stand alongside But if others should fall, it is still yours to stand. Even if alone And so, to shine a light and encourage others to stand

My daughter saw a Blue Heron fly directly over my house yesterday. If you’ve read Strong Like Wildflowers you might understand how deeply meaningful that was to me. ❤️

Men spend decades chasing something they believe will finally make them whole. Out there. Their kids are home, just wanting them to show up. I wrote a novel about one of those men. He never connects the two... the thing out there, and the boy right in front of him. The quest that asks you to forget the people counting on you isn't ambition. It's just a quieter kind of disappearing.

Husbands, boyfriends, and bros who want a good woman in your life. Learn this phrase and repeat it often… ILYIDKWYMILY I love you I don’t know what you mean I love you Trust me- this will improve your text life 😂😂😂

I spent 21 years at Nike. Traveled the world. Built things. Checked every box that's supposed to mean you've made it. And I was quietly disappearing the whole time. Not dramatically. Just... less present each year. Less connected to the people right in front of me. Chasing the next thing instead of being in the current one. I wrote Benjamin knowing he was me at the end of that. What I didn't know was that I had it backwards. The job didn't make the holes. It just stopped covering them. That's what good fiction does sometimes. It corrects the story you'd been telling yourself.

I would rather hold a torch for someone past the point they deserve it, than to give up and write someone off who might otherwise have found their way. It’s both one of my greatest strengths and biggest weaknesses

Generational patterns don't feel like patterns when you're inside them. They feel like life. The way your father handled conflict. The way his father handled emotion. The way going silent became the family language for something that never got a name. You're not broken. You're downstream of something. The difference matters — because what's downstream can change direction.

Of my three kids, it’s my daughter - the middle child between two boys- who makes me laugh the hardest. And the wildest part is, she usually does it by making fun of me 😂 somehow she disarms me and makes me laugh at myself in safe ways. Dads- you don’t need to accept disrespect, but I’m here to tell you, good natured ribbing, especially when clever, can be endearing. Be willing to laugh at yourself and to see your child who has wit

Life sometimes teaches boys that strength means not needing anything. Then we wonder why the men they become are so hard to reach. Somewhere in there, a little boy learned that his feelings were a burden. That needing people was weakness, or brought rejection.. That the safe move was to go it alone. He's still in there. In a lot of us. Strong Like Wildflowers means something different. It means growing anyway. Reaching toward light even when the ground is hard. Strong and soft at the same time.

The feeling of holding a laser level while my oldest son marks a spot for the first picture he ever hangs in his own apartment.

Just looking at this calms me

Easy dad challenge for your day… Pick an unplanned moment today where your kid gets all your attention. Even for a couple minutes. Follow any random conversation or play thread through. You got this