don’t really use this anymore because I think Elon Musk is a silly man and this bloody app has become a cesspool. still love starch and still hate really FPL

Joined August 2019
If James fucking Justin gets another mother bastard CS and attacking return today I am literally gonna go and fckin glue all of the bread in my house to my body then go and lie down in the park and wait to get pecked to death because I cannot put up with this fucking game anymore
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FPL pessimistic potato retweeted
The wait is over.
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FPL pessimistic potato retweeted
🚨💣 BREAKING: Bryan Mbeumo to Manchester United, here we go! Green light from Brentford and club to club agreement reached for £70m package, as @TheAthleticFC reports. Contract agreed weeks ago with Mbeumo as he only wanted Man United move. After Cunha, Mbeumo next for #MUFC.
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FPL pessimistic potato retweeted
What an amazing day ❤️ The @fpl_juice charity match was such a success. ✅ Great competitive match ✅ Raised over 2k for charity ✅ Had a laugh with the FPL community ✅ Witnessed Ed’s moustache ✅ Oh, and won the bloody Trophy 🏆
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FPL pessimistic potato retweeted
Last minute training round mine (according to @launchpodstudio 😂) today! Team Nick aka JUiCE-ventus are ready to go! Let’s have a look at the collection of absolute LEGENDS we’ve assembled… @ECraigBurgess CDM/CM - A killer of a pass but could be killed from too much running. Wins his headers and attempts to get around the pitch as much as his lungs will allow… also was once on TV… for about 5 mins! @FPLPlonker LB/CB Playing style: Always injured Personality: * Shouts in Essex * @FPLFocal CM Playstyle: Playmaker Personality: Better at FPL than football @fplblackbox_az RB Throw in extraordinaire and has been promised the first penalty by Mo @LazyFPL Position: CM Playstyle: No known significant strengths Personality: Caring @FPL_Savage Positions: full back, winger, striker. Modern day full back where shooting and crossing is essential. Defending is optional. Speed so fast that it can mask a bad first touch, and a second one and a third one… @jimdalycomedy aka @FPLJim1 Position: CM/RW/CB/RB Style: Pass and (don't) move. Will attempt at least one rabona. @FPL_Panda Position: GK / Auxiliary Striker Playing style: Think Neville Southall combined with Josè Luis Chilavert. Personality: Likes to shout at his defenders, opposition attackers and officials. @FplDachshund Position: FWD/WF Playing style: Always looking for the next pass. Tenacious and role model is James Milner @Sergster9 Position: attacking midfielder/ striker. At younger age was fast, strong and used to kick a football well. Now only “kick a football” left. @JamesDrewery CB / CM / FWD Bambi on ice-man, the bigger they are the harder they stay on their feet. If he is not in the air, he's on the floor. Can unlease a powerful shot if his arms don't get in the way. @FPL_Discomfort Oh and Position: Set piece coach/ Retired goalkeeper/ utility lump/ long throw specialist Style: Titus Bramble meets John Lydon. Technically awkward on the eye, but you can't look away. Crosses more boundaries than an elite 20/20 cricketer. @FPL_BRUNO18 RW - Would have made it pro but for a dodgy hairline. Up the effin’ Juice 🧡 🍹 @BTSp0d Corrie: ST/W/CAM/CM Mr Chocolate Power Enegry, the towering sensation. When on form he doesn’t play football, he dances football. @FplPotato GK (with a glistening record of 1 goal from 1 appearance as a fwd in Sunday League this season) Playing style: Think David de Gea but with a more annoying haircut. @fantasyfooty LW but people think he’s RW 😉 Only player on the team that can play in boat shoes. Mind games extraordinaire. @FPLWittyName CAM/CM/LB/RB equally talented in many positions and also doubling up as our (potentially very busy) physio 🤕 @TrophyFpl Manager: tactical genius and may make a 5 minute cameo to tear shit up if necessary @fpl_juice Nick: CEO in very much a Mike Ashley mould 🍻. The old man of the squad, like Modric but with maybe 10 minutes in the tank. Can’t wait to see everyone tomorrow. Whatever the result, charity is always the winner. Please donate if you are able to: justgiving.com/campaign/nick… Big love 🧡
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Give this some love - a great event for a great cause organised by some great lads
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FPL pessimistic potato retweeted
Ash v Nick #FPLCommunity Charity Match! Raising money for @StreetChildUtd Donate here: justgiving.com/campaign/nick… Date: Saturday 7th June Venue: The Hive, Camrose Ave, London, HA8 6AG Arrive: 12pm Kick Off: 1pm Event Finish: 3pm 11-a-Side - Bonus Chips - Live Streamed - Mic'd Up Players - Cam Wearing Players - Awards Ceremony + Loads more! Some in attendance include: @FPLFocal @Pras_fpl @FPL_Eire @TrophyFpl @fplgraduates @FPLFella @fantasyfooty @FPLFanShow @FPLJim1 @FPLMeerkat @ManOnPod_Craig @DanDave1989 @fplblackbox_az @FPLPlonker + Loads more incredible content creators and members of the community! 🔥 🔥 🔥 Hosted by @launchpodstudio in association with @FFScout 🌟
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Privileged to witness the Aurora Boreanaz from the tranquility of my back garden last night. Beautiful stuff x
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My nan when she’s planning to spend the weekend pelting rocks at passers by
Walker and Stones out for Sunday
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FPL pessimistic potato retweeted
So, so deserved. Kobbie Mainoo has received his first call-up to the @England senior squad 👏🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 #MUFC || #ThreeLions

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What a special afternoon for all of us 🙌🏼
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Why is no one considering Maddison?
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Fine. You're not invited
I think Kiribati just gave up when it came time to name cities.
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Should probably have benched Foden for Douglas Luiz shouldn’t I
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If you are struggling to get millennial staff to remember instructions, you probably haven’t tried a contrived mnemonic based on a relatively obscure 2000s footballer
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I would have lost if I didn’t have Jota
Sorry not that I care about the cup but what the actual fuck is my cup opponent’s wildcard team
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Sorry not that I care about the cup but what the actual fuck is my cup opponent’s wildcard team
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Which of these annoyingly good penalty-taking bastards should I bench
41%Isak (liv)
18%Palmer (lut)
32%Douglas Luiz (BUR)
9%Saka (ful)
34 votes • Final results
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HWANG IT IN THE FUCKING LOUVRE
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Something about the term ‘bullet header’ makes me want to vomit through every hole that can vomit
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