Will probably throw you into a volcano.

England
Joined April 2017
Still can’t believe he’s gone. This Christmas will be our 794th year without Genghis Khan.
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Come on now people. You know the rule, leave twitter a little worse than when you arrived.
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I saw an advert for a borescope and now I need one. I have no immediate use for it but if I ever find myself needing to look somewhere where I can't see directly, I'll be set. Or I can give endoscopies behind 7-11, either way.
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Whenever I ask for a quesadilla I somehow feel that I'm asking a question.
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Can't decide what to be for Halloween… your soulmate or your sleep paralysis demon?
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Party in the front , dress tucked into my underwear in the back
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I'm trading in my cyber truck for a flying car tomorrow.
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Here, let me make this weird for you.
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I told my dragon about you and now he hates you too.
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What an awful time to have a brain
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Sometimes I pose with two thumbs up In photos instead of one, because I have range.
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I have to admit, most of my awesome baking recipes come from gay guys on YouTube. 🤷‍♂️
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I'm Scottish, when you said friends with benefits I thought you meant you had whisky.
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KING retweeted
I was a physics major. I have no idea how to use who and whom.
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You’re an influencer?! You mean a cunt with a phone.
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KING retweeted
I don’t want flowers, I want your kidney.
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KING retweeted
I won’t argue if I’m not right, but I’m mostly right.
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KING retweeted
I should have followed my instincts and become a tornado.
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If I had one of those hot dog carts everyone would call me the weiner man. I'd like that.
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It's been a long weekend. Long but fun. Flong.
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Are you okay? You haven’t complained about it being Monday yet.
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