@schumoo

shameless grifter, pathological liar

 In the dark
xitter.cf/search?q=from%3Aschumoo%20exclude%3Areplies
Joined August 2009
  • Tweets316K
  • Following7.2K
  • Followers13.7K
555Media
Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
Lilly Hale ♌@LillyHale1Oct 23
This Crispr tech is cool, but can it cook a frozen pizza?
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Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
Lilly Hale ♌@LillyHale1Oct 24
Robots are cool and all, but can they make a decent tater tot casserole?
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Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
Lilly Hale ♌@LillyHale1Oct 24
Few things are as enjoyable as watching strong young men harvesting cabbage in their lederhosen.
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Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
Damon Hunzeker
@DamonHunzekerOct 24
The plural of “seal” is “seals,” but the plural of “walrus” is “the Seven Walruses of Revelation.”
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Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
🐺 Horror Archaeologist 🧛‍♂️@ClassADudeOct 24
A glory hole, but for tacos.
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Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
brutalbird
@brutalbirdxOct 24
You can lead water to a horse, but you can’t make it not evaporate before he decides to drink.
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Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
OhThatGregPorter@oh_porterOct 24
Denial, Acceptance, Bargaining, Anger, Depression, Saturday, Sunday
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Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓
@MoMohlerOct 23
Giving my kids polygraph tests to see who ate my leftover chili.
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Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
Herschel Pennymacker@pennymackerJun 9
They should do underwater rodeos where you have to ride a shark for eight seconds.
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Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
🎃Case🎃@Cactuscali19912Oct 24
"If a tweet falls on the timeline and no one retweets it, does it even make an impression?" -twitter philosophy
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Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
Slim Plimsoll@slimplimsollOct 24
Early English pottage Twitter is lively this morning.
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Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
𝓥𝓮𝔁𝓮𝓭@Symbiotic_SinOct 24
spiritually strapped
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Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
Ganja Lilly@PureGanja1Oct 24
If someone is scared of flying, is the sky really the limit?
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Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
Sophie2078
@Sophie2078Oct 24
Don't let the time you've already invested in something convince you to keep investing in something that's no longer right for you.
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Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
Natalie Would@_NatalieWouldOct 24
calling it 'stand up' is like calling sex work 'doing the splits'
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Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
OhThatGregPorter@oh_porterOct 24
John Candy is a really bad euphemism for a urinal cake.
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Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
Terri@terrip38Oct 24
Just once I want to go to a wedding where someone speaks now and does not forever hold their peace.
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Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
the Lisa@lalise222Oct 24
I want to be a goddess when I grow up
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Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
🎃👻scarydog👻🎃@doggiedogthedogOct 24
Wait, did you say you discussed me or you disgust me?
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Avogadro’s House of Moles retweeted
Cooper Lawrence@CooperLawrenceOct 24
Anyone know how to dress for a low of 37 and a high of 84?
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