Jordan Simon (@JaySim47) header
Jordan Simon (@JaySim47) profile picture

If you ain't first your last- Richard B. Bobby

Joined December 2012
Jordan Simon retweeted
11,588
19,616
1,404
262,456
y’all should’ve voted Kanye
1
1
Jordan Simon retweeted
Somebody please read the first word of all my tweets over the past few months – at Oslo, Norway
2,873
48,439
6,659
124,400
I designed this shit on the Sims as a child
1
4
Jordan Simon retweeted
CONVERSATION I JUST HAD: ME: Two Thin Mints please GIRL SCOUT: That’ll be $10. Or you can get four boxes for $20! ME (gentle): Um, that’s not a savings GIRL SCOUT (NOT gentle): NO ONE SAID IT WAS ... ME: Four boxes would be great.
1,805
29,841
2,293
244,918
I got ID’d at the NSLC, 19 year old @JaySim47 did not
75%compliment
25%insult
12 votes • Final results
Jordan Simon retweeted
Had to been done ur welcome
13,928
283,969
23,791
980,431
Turns out what happens in Vegas.... also happens in LA 🤷‍♂️
172
4,105
388
21,567
when your mom has so many husbands and one of them sends flowers to her work with no card WHO DOES SHE THANK AHAHAH 🌹🙈 @SantanaSimon
1
5
Jordan Simon retweeted
Eagles
FINAL SCORE Them: 3 Us: 2 (OT) Mood: guess we'll have to learn what it's like to be a good little millennial team and be happy with our participation trophy:(
61
200
39
1,960
Jordan Simon retweeted
To the 53 people who've watched A Christmas Prince every day for the past 18 days: Who hurt you?
5,794
76,146
15,023
320,135
Nothing will trigger me more in life than when a website makes me put capital letters in my password. Just let me get hacked bruh.
11
54
601
Jordan Simon retweeted
Work hard now so your wife won’t have too
2
36
🎶Running With The Devils🎶 teapaw.org/njdevils/status/918461…
26
469
25
3,478
Being nice to Rocket Man hasn't worked in 25 years, why would it work now? Clinton failed, Bush failed, and Obama failed. I won't fail.
48,051
27,212
19,156
117,987
when your bf's banned but still wins first prize 😘
1
5
We're definitely proud! But not as proud as @CanadiensMTL are of how many championships they won when there were only 6 teams in the league🙄 teapaw.org/CanadiensMTL/status/91…
Replying to @GoldenKnights
Good for you! You must be very proud of this incredible preseason accomplishment.
1,162
9,262
2,365
28,230
Look at this (attempted) subterfuge! Kings adding trick labels to the back of their jerseys to try to fool us into thinking we're friends🙄
26
132
16
934
Girls spend $70 on an outfit and curl hair and put on makeup just to hook up with a frat boy in a Hawaiian shirt who peed his bed last night
484
39,357
3,695
263,317