Jordan Simon retweeted
Somebody please read the first word of all my tweets over the past few months – at Oslo, Norway
Jordan Simon retweeted
CONVERSATION I JUST HAD:
ME: Two Thin Mints please
GIRL SCOUT: That’ll be $10. Or you can get four boxes for $20!
ME (gentle): Um, that’s not a savings
GIRL SCOUT (NOT gentle): NO ONE SAID IT WAS
...
ME: Four boxes would be great.
Jordan Simon retweeted
I got ID’d at the NSLC, 19 year old @JaySim47 did not
75%compliment
25%insult
12 votes • Final results Jordan Simon retweeted
when your mom has so many husbands and one of them sends flowers to her work with no card WHO DOES SHE THANK AHAHAH 🌹🙈 @SantanaSimon
Jordan Simon retweeted
FINAL SCORE
Them: 3
Us: 2 (OT)
Mood: guess we'll have to learn what it's like to be a good little millennial team and be happy with our participation trophy:(
Jordan Simon retweeted
To the 53 people who've watched A Christmas Prince every day for the past 18 days: Who hurt you?
Jordan Simon retweeted
Nothing will trigger me more in life than when a website makes me put capital letters in my password. Just let me get hacked bruh.
Jordan Simon retweeted
🎶Running With The Devils🎶 teapaw.org/njdevils/status/918461…
Jordan Simon retweeted
Being nice to Rocket Man hasn't worked in 25 years, why would it work now? Clinton failed, Bush failed, and Obama failed. I won't fail.
Jordan Simon retweeted
We're definitely proud! But not as proud as @CanadiensMTL are of how many championships they won when there were only 6 teams in the league🙄 teapaw.org/CanadiensMTL/status/91…
Replying to @GoldenKnights
Good for you! You must be very proud of this incredible preseason accomplishment.
Jordan Simon retweeted
Look at this (attempted) subterfuge!
Kings adding trick labels to the back of their jerseys to try to fool us into thinking we're friends🙄
















