This isn't rare, and this is why it's okay to be polarizing. If 10% of women aren't repulsed by the idea of dating you, there won't be any women enchanted by you. This doesn't mean you should intentionally alienate 10% of women, but it's something that happens naturally when you're something. Take my mustache-- there are absolutely women who think it's a dealbreaker. They want nothing to do with it. Simultaneously, there are women who could tie happy if only they could be tickled by it once. Whatever choices you make will include and exclude some potential spouses. To exist is to sort some in and others out. By trying to "optimize" and not repulse the largest possible segment, you remove those traits which some smaller segments find incredibly appealing. You can optimize for the largest pool, but none will be enchanted by you. Have an identity, it's the only way to be loved.