Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. (@ProbablyNotAnAI) header
Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. (@ProbablyNotAnAI) profile picture

Probably an AI parodying being human, or a sarcaustic lawyer. If covid is over, please still stay 6 ft away from me!😂 🚫 hate/hostility/DMs! 🐸🌈💙ally.

Chandler, AZ
Joined February 2009
Photo by Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. (@ProbablyNotAnAI)Photo by Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. (@ProbablyNotAnAI)Photo by Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. (@ProbablyNotAnAI)Photo by Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. (@ProbablyNotAnAI)Photo by Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. (@ProbablyNotAnAI)Photo by Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. (@ProbablyNotAnAI)Photo by Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. (@ProbablyNotAnAI)Photo by Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. (@ProbablyNotAnAI)Photo by Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. (@ProbablyNotAnAI)Photo by Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. (@ProbablyNotAnAI)
Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. retweeted
Last night I accidentally took my cats medication. Don't ask me-ow.
35
16
1
319
3,762
Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. retweeted
This is so awesome 😍
6
9
67
1,024
Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. retweeted
I'm looking forward to watching the world origami championship tonight. It's on paper view.
36
19
2
324
3,576
Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. retweeted
The Language Nerds are great 🤭😂
4
5
35
334
Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. retweeted
That horrible moment when you lean in for a kiss and realise you completely misread the signals. Worst job interview ever.
76
187
16
4,591
58,780
Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. retweeted
Yeah, housing’s expensive as hell out there. Nobody’s arguing that. But a roof is also a priority, not a side quest you unlock after the iced lattes, the DoorDash rotation, and Brayden’s third iPhone. Living outside your means is the issue. Our grandparents bought a house on one paycheck. Now two of us can barely cover rent. Shocking. Grandma wasn’t dumping half her check on $14 artisanal sludge and avocado toast sculpted like it belongs in a museum. If they wanted coffee, they boiled it in a dented pot that tasted like burnt rubber and poor life choices. It sucked. It worked. Grandma wasn’t “out to brunch.” She wasn’t posing with mimosas for the algorithm. She was making “whatever’s left in the fridge” and feeding six people with it. That’s not cottagecore. That’s math. Don’t even start with Uber Eats. Grandpa wasn’t dropping $38 so a lukewarm burger could travel three blocks in a paper bag. He grilled mystery meat on a rusted barbecue and everybody called it dinner. Nobody posted it. Nobody cried about “the economy” while waiting for a driver named Kyle. Now people swear they’re broke while sitting in a house stuffed with gadgets. Two SUVs in the driveway. Six streaming services. Three air fryers. Matching tattoos that cost more than the light bill. You think Grandpa had a tattoo? Yeah. It said “Korea, 1951.” Came with trauma, not engagement. And the kids. Lord. “We can’t make ends meet, but Brayden needs the new iPhone.” No he doesn’t. You’re handing an $1,100 rectangle to a child who still eats crayons and treats the toilet like a suggestion. When we were kids there was one phone. It hung on the wall like a family heirloom. The cord stretched just far enough for secrets before someone yelled to get off. We lived. Somehow. One TV. Living room. Three channels. A dial that clicked like it was judging you. If Dad wanted bowling, you were a bowling fan. End of discussion. Now there’s a flat screen in every room, the baby has an iPad, the dog has a camera, and everyone’s shocked they can’t afford rent. Because you’re living like rock stars on retail money. That’s why. Grandpa wasn’t leasing Teslas or buying $12 smoothies named “Green Zen Awakening.” He drove a truck that coughed smoke, rattled like it was dying, and smelled like oil and actual work. Friday’s paycheck was the budget. Lights on first. Joneses later. Usually never. So yes — he bought a house on one salary. He also didn’t have a gym membership, three delivery apps, and emotional support crystals on the nightstand. His support system was Grandma telling him to quit whining and mow the damn yard. Nowadays everyone’s broke, anxious, and “manifesting abundance” while ordering tacos for the fourth time this week. It’s expensive out there. Fine. Housing should still come before the lifestyle. Living outside your means is the issue — not the ghost of 1951. Wake up. Kill the subscriptions. Make your own coffee. Maybe then you’ll smell something other than your own excuses. 🤷‍♀️
74
44
18
358
9,729
Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. retweeted
Most of these “your mom” jokes are just old and overused. Just like your mom
163
272
10
4,772
64,492
Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. retweeted
23
6
1
136
1,607
Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. retweeted
Who are you choosing? 👀
39
4
3
31
1,856
Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. retweeted
#lawtwitter please continue to help these teachers. One account claiming bots should not negatively affect these real teachers who should not have to ask for this kind of support in educating our children to begin with. Lawyers want to make a difference, and this is a real way.
I mean, I posted a link in #lawtwitter to help that community find vetted teachers and avoid scammers only to be accused of not being a real teacher in response with the logic that I post too much around clear-the-list time....
74
16
1
113
13,325
Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. retweeted
NEW PICTURE BOOK POSTCARD! And it's from Frankenstein! (Yes, Frankenstein the monster.) 👾💌✨️ MONSTER MANNERS A to Z Author: Heidi Yates Illustrator: Yana Kozak FUN FACT: From A to Z (Aliens to Zombies), monsters have had millennia to master good manners.
3
7
1
22
575
Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. retweeted
I'm at the hospital... just been diagnosed with peekaboo virus. they are transferring me to ICU
62
45
10
384
18,553
Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. retweeted
Oh this is a GOOD ONE ☠️
I'm at the hospital... just been diagnosed with peekaboo virus. they are transferring me to ICU
5
4
72
2,767
Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. retweeted
Healthcare dad joke from the vault😬
2
2
27
2,084
Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. retweeted
Monster Manners A to Z is in bookstores today. Yay! Happy Book Birthday! 🥳 Congratulations Yana Kozak, @ElisaHouot, Elizabeth Patterson, and @BeamingBooksMN! 🎉
4
3
1
20
318
Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. retweeted
Checking in for surgery and the nurse said, “Don’t bring your phone unless you’re ok leaving it with your husband.” I said, “We are both divorce lawyers so if there was something I didn’t want him to see it would be on another phone under lock and key, but thanks for looking out for your girl!” She laughed and said, “You wouldn’t believe how many patients wake up from anesthesia to a pissed off partner!” Trust me, I do.
91
535
22
30,399
853,204
Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. retweeted
Replying to @Parkerlawyer
She can hide anything she wants from me by simply placing it next to where we keep the vacuum cleaner. I mean, I think we have a vacuum cleaner.
2
1
156
14,855
Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. retweeted
I'm thrilled to spotlight Heidi Yates and her new picture book, MONSTER MANNERS A to Z, in my TAKE 5 Blog! GIVEAWAY to one lucky winner: a signed copy of MONSTER MANNERS! To enter to win: Follow Heidi Yates Comment: MONSTER MANNERS below Bonus entry if you leave a comment under the interview - tap below, and it will take you to the interview. Winner announced on FRIDAY! Good luck! #kidlit #picturebooks #giveaway beckywalkerbooks.com/2026/08…
8
6
2
10
443
Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. retweeted
I am totally broke right now and do not know what to do. If you like my tweets and want to help Ash live indoors, please donate if you can or retweet. Asking for help makes me feel sick to my stomach. Please DM me for more information. Thank you in advance.
11
88
9
124
3,296
Steve (artificially intelligent), Esq. retweeted
My brilliant critique partner interviewed me about my debut book! So honored! #Kidlit #picturebook
I'm SO excited for this PB. One of my truest critique partners over the years is having her debut! What if you’ve been invited to a Monster party? Would you know the etiquette? #KidLit #picturebook #interview #bookblogger jenabenton.com/2026/08/12/si…
3
1
2
6
410