@SamFictions

Wrecking ball with a heart of gold

 Pennsylvania, USA
Joined September 2013
  • Tweets4.6K
  • Following187
  • Followers564
185Media
Due to CORVID-19 I am unable to celebrate my birthday in my typical fashion of smoking weed and jerking off in the bathroom at Denny’s. This year I will instead smoke weed and jerk off in the PARKING LOT at Denny’s
3
12
3
215
Frank Escutcheon (Luigi from the North Side) retweeted
octopus/caveman@octopuscaveman10h
You can jack off in the bathrooms at Taco Bell
🤝 Paid partnership
88
1,114
51
12,782
292,212
How to secretly dose my boss with mood stabilizers if he does drink coffee?
Frank Escutcheon (Luigi from the North Side)@SamFictionsOct 14
Been thinkin about quitting my job
3
78
Frank Escutcheon (Luigi from the North Side) retweeted
Susana L Bumparty@rawrmeow69420Oct 25
if you buy weird enough alcohol they do not even card you
101
1,381
110
79,135
866,900
Frank Escutcheon (Luigi from the North Side) retweeted
Gene Meyer@GeneMeyerLOLOct 26
Joy Division are a better t-shirt than they are a band.
2
1
6
525
Frank Escutcheon (Luigi from the North Side) retweeted
thom@jortsseason420Oct 26
this is what I imagine it would be like to have @SamFictions as your plumber
anna@annakatherines_Oct 25
Guy came to steam clean my mattress and was like “you have so many things! You do not need so many things. None of it matters in the end.” And I was like. thank you steam clean mattress guy
1
1
3
114
Need to become a kinder healthier and more normal version of myself expeditiously
1
4
120
Frank Escutcheon (Luigi from the North Side) retweeted
Cat-47@the47catOct 25
1
658
4
1,779
14,436
Pittsburgh Pennsylvania is the most magical place in the world and my life is rife with friendship
11
232
Frank Escutcheon (Luigi from the North Side) retweeted
Bodie 2@bodietwoOct 23
I hope a grand piano is dropped on top of me and I am killed in an instant
4
2,038
52
8,522
80,134
“Hey sorry we have to give the homeless cocaine oracle a ride real quick” Words I said in earnest tn
4
121
Frank Escutcheon (Luigi from the North Side) retweeted
off the damn loud@gramofmidOct 22
Mane who tf calling me from The Cran 🤦‍♂️
29
413
41
8,276
120,152
Pittsburgh transplant tiktok influencnerds be like let me put you onto some bands you’ve never heard of: code orange, black moth super rainbow, Christina Aguilera
9
251
Who at the Cage playing AnCo and Titus Andronicus???
48
Frank Escutcheon (Luigi from the North Side) retweeted
Cat-47@the47catOct 22
6
1,067
9
3,515
24,605
Frank Escutcheon (Luigi from the North Side) retweeted
rose@roramdinOct 21
They should offer self euthanasia through the McDonald’s app
39
2,350
26
18,687
253,249
Frank Escutcheon (Luigi from the North Side) retweeted
monkey car@PrimateVehicleOct 21
Ear nose and throat day at the gym
23
1,809
37
28,528
277,207
Frank Escutcheon (Luigi from the North Side) retweeted
Fiona@FionaSmallOct 21
Pope Leo:
Pope Crave
@ClubConcraveOct 21
Pope Leo declared free of cancer, says Vatican
41
13,586
58
156,658
1,335,853
Frank Escutcheon (Luigi from the North Side) retweeted
FastFoodRembrandt.onion@solminingpunkOct 20
New bracelet
48
1,165
54
12,859
141,329
Frank Escutcheon (Luigi from the North Side) retweeted
Knucklehead McSpazatron. ☁️@TotallyNotRJOct 20
Replying to @SamFictions
My fwtd splatter vinyl came in 20 years late coated in clearly dried saliva and packaged with a used condom and I said thank you Mr. Fictions mwah love you Mr. Fictions I don’t see the issue
2
3
153
Load more