Bob Cobb (@burnthair) header
Bob Cobb (@burnthair) profile picture

flibbertigibbet. https://teapaw.org/t.co/ImRrWFrBf9

yonder
Joined November 2010
Photo by Bob Cobb (@burnthair)Photo by Bob Cobb (@burnthair)Photo by Bob Cobb (@burnthair)Photo by Bob Cobb (@burnthair)Photo by Bob Cobb (@burnthair)Photo by Bob Cobb (@burnthair)Photo by Bob Cobb (@burnthair)Photo by Bob Cobb (@burnthair)Photo by Bob Cobb (@burnthair)Photo by Bob Cobb (@burnthair)
Screenplay idea: 3 librarians adopt a hostile kangeroo that plays harmonica
20
200
2
250
28,586
Bob Cobb retweeted
I find it strange how “we’re all sinners” comes up so quickly when a powerful man needs forgiveness, but so slowly when a stranger needs compassion.
12
50
1
212
2,769
My first and last day as a tour bus guide: "and to your left is Bed Bath & Beyond which is Korean for 'muffled fart'"
9
239
I clicked through the updated terms of service without reading them and now the Peacock roku app has my power of attorney
2
3
49
1,027
I don't know why this just popped into my head but I have always thought the Porsche 944 was one of the coolest looking cars ever made.
1
2
8
300
Bob Cobb retweeted
Why do washers and dryers get a cool jingle but microwaves still have the Chernobyl radiation alert chime?
39
391
14
12,587
125,685
I don’t give a damn about Gail’s forced winds. As long as her flatulence doesn’t slow down my arrival I should be there by Tuesday depending on the weather.
1
1
5
171
Bob Cobb retweeted
Anyone else try to synchronize their blinkers with the car in front of you. Or are you normal.
3
11
1
24
680
Life would be more fun if everybody's middle name was motherfuckin
7
44
1
140
3,163
In 1987, Burt Smucker invented jelly.
1
8
113
Listen, we’re talking about my meltdown right now. Ok, see this ain’t your meltdown so don’t try to piss all over MY meltdown, you piece of shit.
4
5
21
416
Well I’m a vampire hunter now. There’s gonna be a time when innocent people may get very hurt. This is the world now. They’re all just collateral damage compared to the chaos those motherfuckers are about to unleash. RIP Craig.
2
1
6
145
Bob Cobb retweeted
Just ‘Great, thanks!’ing each other on Teams till one of us passes away
2
8
53
980
Bob Cobb retweeted
If you can’t stand living alongside people of different races, religions, and backgrounds, what makes you think you’ll enjoy heaven?
1,020
3,630
170
31,787
483,304
starting a band called the beetles with my buddy Rango on drums
2
7
257
On this date 10 years ago, I sent Adele my infamous ‘if we ever meet, I’d love to take you to a Costco for a hot dog and a Coke’ letter…
6
17
342
Bob Cobb retweeted
Late stage capitalism: A supermarket throws perfectly good food in the dumpster, pays its workers so little they can barely afford groceries, then asks customers to donate to the food bank at checkout. And we're supposed to admire how fucking efficient this system is.
348
3,148
75
12,934
156,458
If Die Hard is a Christmas movie then The Catcher in the Rye is just a quaint little Christmas tale that we all read to our Christmas in the name of our sweet Lord then, huh? Doesn’t quite work does it? No, and neither does Die Hard so shut up about it already.
4
2
8
262
I haven’t been the same since those bastards cancelled Simon and Simon.
4
4
17
337
Even the napkins are 500 calories.
what’s the healthiest option at kfc
12
8
103
1,768
Bob Cobb retweeted
"YoU aReN't AlWaYs GoNnA hAvE a CaLcUlAtOr In YoUr PoCkEt" -Lying ass 90s teachers
171
4,369
126
77,813
899,146