jennys

Husband: Sorry, should I step outside? I smiled. Me: No, it’s okay. You can stay. He smiled back and continued getting ready. That morning, I realised something. A loving marriage doesn’t mean you suddenly stop having insecurities. It means you have someone who loves you enough not to make those insecurities worse. Sometimes, the greatest gift your partner can give you is the patience to become comfortable being yourself.

Me: When I was in boarding school, the girls used to laugh at me because of my breasts. They were extremely small, and some of the girls made jokes about them. I was constantly embarrassed whenever I had to change clothes around other girls. Sometimes, I would wait until everyone had left before getting dressed. I paused before continuing. Me: I became so insecure about my body that I started hiding myself from everyone. Even after leaving school, I never really got over it. I guess I’ve carried that insecurity into our marriage. He held my hand and listened without interrupting. Husband: I’m sorry you had to go through that. You were just a young girl, and you didn’t deserve to be made to feel ashamed of your body. I looked at him. Me: Sometimes, I worry that you might also notice the things they used to laugh about. He gently held my face. Husband: Listen to me. You don’t have to look like anyone else to be beautiful to me. I married you because I love you, not because I was expecting you to have a particular body. My eyes became watery. Husband: And I don’t want you to feel pressured to change your habits overnight. If you want privacy while dressing, you have it. If you need time to become comfortable, I’ll give you all the time you need. I hugged him tightly. Me: Thank you for understanding. He kissed my forehead. Husband: You’re my wife, not someone who owes me access to every part of her whenever I want. I want you to feel safe with me. From that day, nothing changed overnight, but little by little, I started becoming more comfortable around him. He never rushed me, never made jokes about my body, and never turned my insecurities into something to tease me about. Sometimes, he would compliment me when I least expected it, and whenever I felt uncomfortable, he reminded me that I had nothing to be ashamed of. One morning, I was getting dressed when he walked into the room. I instinctively reached for my clothes to cover myself. He immediately stopped.

After I got married, I told my husband to leave the room so I could get dressed. He looked at me and said: Husband: Have you forgotten that we just got married? You’re my wife now. Me: I know, but it still feels awkward. I’m used to dressing in privacy. He smiled. Husband: Okay, no problem. Take your time. He walked out and closed the door behind him. At first, I thought he would eventually get tired of it, but he never complained. Whenever I wanted to change my clothes, he would excuse himself without making me feel uncomfortable. Sometimes, he would even ask if I needed anything before leaving. One evening, while we were getting ready for bed, he gently asked: Husband: Can I ask you something? Me: Of course. Husband: Why do you always feel the need to hide your body from me? I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable around your own husband. I was quiet for a moment. Me: It’s not that I don’t trust you. There’s just something I’ve struggled with for a long time. He moved closer. Husband: You can tell me. I’m listening. I took a deep breath before telling him the truth….