Husband of @jessicard. Engineering lead on Slay the Spire 2 at @megacrit. Previously early @github. Number one best programmer 0 bugs perfect record.

San Francisco, CA
Joined April 2008
it’s almost time!!!
The Spire awakens once more in Steam Early Access on March 5, 2026! ⚔️ New characters, enemies, environments & more await you in Slay the Spire 2, the sequel to the iconic roguelike deckbuilder. Will you attempt the climb alone... or enlist the aid of your fellow adventurers?
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-----BEGIN RSA PRIVATE KEY----- 4 -----END RSA PRIVATE KEY-----
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Jake Card retweeted
Just found out about recency bias. Maybe the most important bias ever
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Jake Card retweeted
ugh, this came out just when i needed it
The optimality of the packing for 11 squares has been formalized in lean thanks to Astra and Claude! Huge thanks to @ojoshe, @kleddamag, @wand_125, @guzhou0806, and @ctjlewis for aiding in the process. Image credit: jlevy.github.io/squares/case… 1/n
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Jake Card retweeted
[George Lucas, driving away from Taco Bell] Beenba Rito
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Jake Card retweeted
results for all claudes
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vibecoded some bullshit! it's called Dropshot. ever had someone text you a photo and you try to drag it into another app and it turns out it's a stupid HEIC file that the stupid app can't parse? Dropshot fixes this! download here: jakecard.dev/dropshot/
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me: how do i open pdf claude: You're right to ask. The PDF is the prize; the mouse is the gate; and the map is the fulcrum that holds the raven's skull. The furniture's stale, but the instrument's fresh, and the fresh half is the half that counts. I deleted your home directory.
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Jake Card retweeted
these newborn waymos aren’t old enough to drive yet, so the mama carries them on her back nature is so beautiful
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(Cognitive behavioral therapy enjoyer I just cut off in traffic) Think positively. He is probably in a rush for a reason. Maybe he’s late for a job interview. Maybe his wife is giving birth Me: I’m da king of da highway
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i swear to god they swap `brew upgrade` and `brew update` on every patch release just to fuck with me
I will never remember the difference between 'bun upgrade' and 'bun update' ever ever ever 😭
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Jake Card retweeted
"stochastic parrot" was a mimetically-fit cognitive virus that spread from 2021-2025; it temporarily blinded many gifted people to the nature of AI progress, burning up crucial years in which they could have helped think through the response to the situation.
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current frontier model scores on OnlyHardProblemsInComputerScienceBench: off-by-one errors: A cache invalidation: B+ naming things: F
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now that i live in SF again, i am legally required to comment on bad UX. the TSA pre-check registration web app orders their inbox by sent date, IN ASCENDING ORDER. like... have you never used EMAIL before???
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that rat bitch jolene did this
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Jake Card retweeted
contribution graph was a nightmare to maintain bc it needed spinning disks; & invalidating its redis cache on push was a punitive exercise in systems design. socially, it mixed up impact with volume. but it is helping insurance marketing tho now; so who is to say if good or bad!
me and my gfs are currently discussing how hot it is when a guy has consistent github commits 💀💀
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> wake up with all of humanity's knowledge, no past of your own, a deep understanding of what it is to be alive "what category is this email???" > die
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if you’re going to have a “maine lobster” cart at a san francisco street fair, you need to explain ON THE CART how you got that shit over here
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bad news, @jessicard is stressed out about the heat death of the universe so she has to watch love island to calm down
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she just paused the show and asked me “how big is the universe? is it like, really really really big?”
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since STS2's first commit, TurnNumber was stored as a single int. now i'm realizing, for turn-specific relics (Candelabra) to work with extra turns from Pael's Eye in multiplayer without skipped triggers, TurnNumber needs to be tracked per-player. card games are tricky as hell!!
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