@sempler

Creative Director. Former child. Showers naked. Previously: SF, NYC & London.

 Stockholm
sempler.org
Joined April 2009
  • Tweets6.9K
  • Following351
  • Followers613
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Jacob Sempler retweeted
Amber Dawn@contemplatonist5 Oct 2022
thanks google
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childish branzino@absflora1 Oct 2022
timothée chalamet is the new benedict cumberbatch in the sense that you can say ANYTHING and we know who you mean. tiffany chevrolet. timpanogos charlemagne. symphony cabernet. jiminy castaway.
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Jacob Sempler retweeted
Andy Field@andyfieldhello21 Sep 2022
"this has really ruined Maroon 5 for me" - me in 2002 hearing Maroon 5 for the first time
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m@thew@TweetPotato31415 Aug 2022
was the person who invented the ladder trying to go up or down
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pj@pjayevans10 Aug 2022
(Getting my haircut) I’m doing weird stuff with my hands in the cape you provided me
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Jacob Sempler retweeted
Lewis 🇺🇸
@ctjlewis5 Aug 2022
La Crosse County, WI is a truly psychedelic place. this is a murder trial by the way
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Jacob Sempler retweeted
Ron Iver@ronnui_31 Jul 2022
Hot air balloons kick ass. Are they safe? Not really. Can you stop if you don't like it? Think again. BUT can you steer? Listen don't bring that negative energy into this wicker basket ok I'm gonna light this flamethrower.
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Jacob Sempler retweeted
Carol Roth
@caroljsroth28 Jul 2022
-There will be no inflation -Inflation is transitory -Inflation is good for you -Inflation only hurts the rich -Inflation is consumers’ fault -Inflation is greedy biz’s fault -Inflation is Putin’s fault -Recessions mean something else! -Breadlines are a great way to meet people
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that’s my emotional support unfolded pile of laundry
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*I spill juice on the kitchen floor* Mike Ehrmantraut: It’s going to be okay don’t panic. What we’re gonna do is grab the paper towels and place them down on the spill and let it soak for five minutes no more no less. Place the towels in the trash until trash day comes.
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Paul McCartney is a great advert for vegetarianism, look at him, 80! John Lennon never embraced it and he didn’t live half as long. Makes you think
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I wonder if the inventor of paper straws ever considered that they would be in prolonged contact with liquid.
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Jacob Sempler retweeted
The Onion
@TheOnion25 May 2022
'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens bit.ly/3LL7T7p
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gotta respect the longevity of microsoft word. nothing about it works and it's still the standard. want to move an image? go to hell. edit a pdf? edit your expectations. ignore a spelling mistake? how about suck my dick. that'll be 150$
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I honestly think we are asking too much of cauliflower.
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On my third trip to the garbage to read how long to cook these nuggets
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“are you ok?” no bro i open and close the same 3 apps everyday
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Jacob Sempler retweeted
Chris Bakke
@ChrisJBakke17 Jan 2022
Hiring in 2022: Founder: "We raised $70m and are hiring engineers. Must have 15+ years of machine learning experience. PhD in comp sci + an MBA from a top school is ideal." Me: "Wow, what's the product?" Founder: "We're making an app that screen prints NFTs on cupcakes."
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I don’t often get sick but when I do I instantly become a frail victorian child asking mother for permission to be carried into the garden to see the sun one last time before the consumption takes hold
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dolly parton funding new masks called worKN95
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