To L and Back

ALT Alice storms off with flour on her face. Alice: Oh my God. Fuck the swan boats.

ALT Shane talks to Alice in a home goods store. Shane: Can you not take it out on the egg separator?

ALT Carrie talks to Bette. Carrie: You know, I am not a violent person Bette.

ALT Gigi and Dani look at each other. Gigi: Good! So shut the fuck up and hold my hand.

ALT Bette stands across from Pippa. Bette: So that’s Tina.

ALT Maribel’s mom stands aghast between Maribel and Micah. Sophie: They’re dating! Micah’s her boyfriend.

ALT Tess looks at Shane. Tess: You’re-you’re kind of like Eeyore too you know?

ALT Sophie sits in her car on the phone. CC: I want the chaos…

ALT Claudia talks to Micah in her office. Claudia: I want to remind you that I am a doctor with a medical degree.

ALT Tom talks to Alice. Tom: I like my beds the way I like my candy bars.

ALT Alice talks at her book launch. Alice: Blah blah blah blah.

ALT Dani talks to Gigi. Dani: I wish I wasn’t in this situation but I am.

ALT Bette looks at Gigi and Nat. Bette: They’re both here? That is so gay.

ALT Sophie kisses Finley up against the wall. CC: -[grunts] -[laughter]

ALT Pippa talks to Bette. Pippa: I think I’ll take that water now.

ALT Alice stands on stage at her talk show in an orange blazer. Alice: And always remember, stay gay.

ALT Alice is wearing a hot pink top. Alice: I am also trying to bone somebody I work with.

ALT Gigi is wearing a sleeve and neck only sweater. Gigi: What happened to you two reclaiming your space?

ALT Micah and Dani are on a run. They stop and look at each other. Dani: I thought you were gay.

ALT Sophie has her had back in frustration. Text: [acoustic guitar playing]

ALT Finley talks to Micah. Finley: Pee Wee Soccer League, baby. Micah: Shut up.

ALT Bette stands outside Pippa’s house. Bette: I wept when I read that you had quit the art world.

ALT Alice and Tom talk in her office. Tom: She still dating your ex’s ex wife?

ALT Sophie and Dani lie in bed together. Sophie: She was gay as shit. Dani: Gay as shit.

ALT Sophie opens a pizza box and looks at Finley. Finley: She took the red pepper.

ALT Gigi leans on Bette as they look at art. Gigi: [whispering] how do you know if it’s any good?

ALT Maribel talks to Micah in his new office lobby. Maribel: The shirt’s great. Everyone’s talking about it.

ALT Finley talks to Sophie as she bends down to get something from a cupboard. Finley: Dude, so, you’re telling me you never shit your pants?

ALT Bette sits at a poker table in Dana’s. She’s wearing a black blazer and looking down. Bette: I cheated on Tina 17 years ago.

ALT Tess is at Dana’s wearing a shiny grey top. Tess: I mean, like, I hated Shane for sleeping with my girlfriend

ALT Sophie wearing a white and grey top leans next to Finley wearing a blue and white adidas soccer shirt. Sophie: You tried all 12 yogurts?

ALT Alice stands in her office wearing a green jumpsuit. Alice: I know lesbians. I know a lot of lesbians

ALT Alice and Nat talk to Marissa. Alice: Yeah, we tried the whole throuple thing with her ex-wife.

ALT Tina stands next to Carrie. Carrie: One of them owns a Jet Ski store.

ALT One of Eddie’s friends watches Eddie as she talks. Eddie: That Dinah Shore shit is not for us

ALT Bette and Gigi touch noses post-kiss. Bette: [whispers] You’re very naughty. Gigi: You terrible thing

ALT Finley drives Sophie in a cart on the set of the Alice Show. Finley says: So, I go over there, we fudge— it is awesome—

ALT Shane is wearing a black tank top. She’s leaning over looking distraught and says: I got divorced on my birthday!

ALT Megan Rapinoe getting interviewed on the Alice Show. She says: You’re gay!

ALT Bette is leaning over to talk to Angie. She says: Take it easy on the fucking f-bombs, okay?