orange shirt guy (@awkwardphilippe) header
orange shirt guy (@awkwardphilippe) profile picture

orange shirt guy

@awkwardphilippe

I'm from Canada and they say I'm slow.

 Ottawa
teapaw.org/search?q=From%3Aawkwardphilippe+exclude%3Areplies
Joined October 2014
  • Tweets21.5K
  • Following2.9K
  • Followers7.3K
316Media
Photo by orange shirt guy (@awkwardphilippe)Photo by orange shirt guy (@awkwardphilippe)Photo by orange shirt guy (@awkwardphilippe)Photo by orange shirt guy (@awkwardphilippe)Photo by orange shirt guy (@awkwardphilippe)Photo by orange shirt guy (@awkwardphilippe)Photo by orange shirt guy (@awkwardphilippe)Photo by orange shirt guy (@awkwardphilippe)Photo by orange shirt guy (@awkwardphilippe)Photo by orange shirt guy (@awkwardphilippe)
Me:[forgetting the word for water] do you have any pee fuel
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Piece (@Piecezilla) profile picture
Piece
@Piecezilla9 Dec 2022
I found $5 in a hotel couch. proof that the economy is healing
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This might sound controversial but I'm having a glass of milk
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olive (@offbeatoliv) profile picture
olive@offbeatoliv21 Nov 2022
Etsy accidentally sent me a penis statue and I’m wondering if I could convert it into a peppermill.
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Noodles (@Dawn_M_) profile picture
Noodles@Dawn_M_14 Oct 2016
We're both adults. Let's skip the first date and get to the part where you try and stab me.
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They keep pronouncing Putin like French Canadians pronounce poutine and this is confusing my brain's primary salivary centres in the medulla oblongata.
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my farmville crops rn
Image from orange shirt guy (@awkwardphilippe)
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Kung Fu Kanga (@_little_old_me) profile picture
Kung Fu Kanga@_little_old_me17 Jun 2019
Anyone else get offended when someone refers to you as a pet owner? Like, wtf? I don't own them. They're members of my family, you insensitive fuck.
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Should I start tweeting again? I don't know if I have what it takes
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Sandra (@Sanbel11) profile picture
Sandra@Sanbel1116 Jul 2021
I’ve accidentally sent my mum picture of my boobs so I followed it up with medical questions and booked a mammogram
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Boyd's Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) profile picture
Boyd's Backyard™
@TheBoydP15 Jan 2015
Plot twist: Leaves everything but takes the kitchen sink...
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Stewnami (@stewnami) profile picture
Stewnami@stewnami1 May 2021
Grand Theft Auto 5 is bullshit. I was in a taco truck and it told me I couldn’t pick up a woman with it.
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[at a club] DJ: WHO WANTS SOME MEGADETH *crowd cheers* ME: (from the back) just a regular death is fine thank you
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Hand Solo™ (@RdrJay47) profile picture
Hand Solo™@RdrJay4711 Dec 2017
This is the weirdest karaoke place I've ever seen.
Image from Hand Solo™ (@RdrJay47)
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KattsDogma (@KattsDogma) profile picture
KattsDogma@KattsDogma13 Apr 2021
we’re dead?
Image from KattsDogma (@KattsDogma)
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I returned to my mechanic today. He says ''Looks like you blew a seal''. I respond with ''No no, It's just a little bit of ice cream''.
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@TheBoydP oh my gosh. You went very far back🙈 This was actually a joke a heard somewhere on TV 🙈🙈
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Hand Solo™ (@RdrJay47) profile picture
Hand Solo™@RdrJay4730 Aug 2017
The Purge, but it's just everyone jerking off wherever they want.
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RaspberryheART (@Jenny4ashley) profile picture
RaspberryheART@Jenny4ashley12 Feb 2014
My business card is just a piece of toast.
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