@fr4ckerjack

CEO of batshit ~ VA and Sillyman

Joined March 2026
  • Tweets5.6K
  • Following928
  • Followers267
188Media
"There's been a struggle here." - detective inspecting the chair where I put my socks on
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Not to brag but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago
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FR4CKER retweeted
meghan
@deloisivete4h
This meeting is just 3 emails in a trench coat
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Hello darkness my old friend. I stood up way too fast again.
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FR4CKER retweeted
lxlia@lxlyuh4h
you're not just the cat's pajamas you're his favorite stuffed toy and warm bowl of milk too
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i could really go for a nice coma right about now.
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FR4CKER retweeted
lxlia@lxlyuh4h
if you think you're better at kissing than me i dare you to come prove it asshole
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I just sighed so hard, I almost passed out. – at Herndon, VA
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My enemies? Let them wonder who in the building cooked fish again
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Sabrina
@neu_rot_ic8h
eating an ancestral diet of tea and biscuits
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Luwanda
@LuwandaJenkins9h
Wish I met my husband 10 years earlier when I was doing harder drugs. We could have been hardcore druggies together. Now that’ll never happen.
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Blocking someone isn't enough. You have to hire a bunch of singing clowns to finish the job
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Having a beard does not let you off with everything
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Me: One medicine to go, please! Pharmasist: wHo let THis oNE in again
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- Are you suuure there's nothing to eat? -One moment, let me check my bra
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Everybody can eat fries from a mug instead of a plate. If they want it, is another issue, but don't let that fool you! Sure they can
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You don't bore me hunny, that was a strategically used yawn to let the heat out
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-I'd let you eat beans Me, flirting
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FR4CKER retweeted
BEAVE
@Beaveinflow18h
Going to start hosting parties where all we do is cry and eat snacks.
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Tell your dog I said woof woof
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He's a daddy dom on Twitter but in the real world his drink order at the coffee shop is 3 sentences long
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