@RunOldMan

Disabled Army Veteran, Bills Mafia, Mental Health Matters, Laughter is the best medicine 🇺🇸🇵🇷 Boricua NO MAGA https://xitter.cf/t.co/LpPIFl6lcu…

 Northern Virginia
xitter.cf/search?q=from%3A%40runoldman%20-filter%3Areplies&src=typed_query&f=live
Joined January 2014
  • Tweets823K
  • Following14.8K
  • Followers39.3K
6.1KMedia
Lady was pissy when I insisted on walking with her to the parking lot, but it was raining and she had an umbrella.
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Otis is singing to me. 🥰
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TommyCharm
@tommy_charm13h
QT your beach vibes
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Lisa 🖤☠️@MsLisaM17h
"Grok is this true?" "Grok is this true?" All fucking day. You people are so lazy.
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Jen@SleepEatScreamOct 3
Coffee, good conversation and laughter is the perfect trifecta.
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BEAVE
@BeaveinflowOct 24
When you’re a Canadian, if you run out of maple syrup in your dream, you die in real life.
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Ⓜ️isterD@MisterD78UK14h
5 minutes are way different lengths of time while waiting for the pizza delivery compared to hitting a 5 minute snooze on your alarm
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SeaShell@DianeP89Oct 25
Not now. I’m hanging out with the Moon and Saturn.
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AbbyDabbyBOObies
@DearAuntAbbyOct 25
Scratched the back of my earlobe, unaware of the blood on my fingers as I was on phone doing a bunch of nothing. Lamest crime scene ever.
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Always Around
@_Always_around_Oct 25
It’s not as much about going to bed alone. It’s waking up alone that hurts.
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The hardest truth ? Some people remember you only they need you
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Functionally Feral@FeralFerrell14h
when you grow up with people like mine you either learn to forgo outside validation or you crave it so desperately you’ll do almost anything to get it; i’m lucky i got the former
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David 🎃@DBStonerOct 24
Pull up a chair MFer, we got to talk.
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Halloween candy is expensive this year so I’ll just be handing out razorblades
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Krista
@Kristasunshine1Oct 25
With all the things that taste like chicken isnt it weird that eggs don't?
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Michi 💕@Dimensionchick113h
Lately I've been seeing 12:12 on the clock. Been that way for decades. 1:11, 2:22, 3:33... so on and so forth. It's one of the ways God gets my attention.
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Víkrám
@gvicks22h
My nephew asked what a headhunter does. I explained that I persuade people to leave jobs they claim to love. He said, “So you're a divorce lawyer for offices?”
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Some days I just wanna go back to college and learn and learn
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Uncle Bob 🍩@UncleBob5615h
I bought a robe. I never owned a robe. I may never leave home again.
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why can’t i wake up just once because you’re shoving your dick in my ass instead of with an alarm clock
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Mr.Carter@dexteristwisted12h
If a woman ever says * I just find it funny that* There's is a 99% chance she didn't find it funny
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