I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.
USA
Joined July 2009
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Katie Roller retweeted
Remember when big milk made us all think our bones would deteriorate if we didn't drink milk? 🐄🥛 Between that and being forced to do the Macarena in PE every week, being a youth in the 90s was WILD.
Katie Roller retweeted
my very religious but supportive elderly neighbor asked me what I’m giving up for pride because I think she thinks it’s like lent and the pride parades are like mardi gras?? anyway I panicked and said oatmeal
Katie Roller retweeted
Dolly Parton is the perfect case study of someone who embraces their own culture and is proud of their heritage but values other cultures/viewpoints and routinely pitches in to help. I dig unproblematic icons....
Katie Roller retweeted
It’s perfect. teapaw.org/Franklinngee/status/13…
Katie Roller retweeted
*Me passing a note to the waitress*
Hi, I’m going to order Diablo Fire wings but could you please just bring me mild? Also when you bring the mild wings could you please say “whoa, who ordered the Diablo wings?”
Katie Roller retweeted
When seat belts were first introduced in 1968, there were idiots who insisted they “infringed on their freedoms” and would physically cut them out of their cars. We make fun of those people now. Can you guess who we’ll be making fun of in 2072?
Katie Roller retweeted
Anne Frank spent 2 years hiding in an attic and we’ve been home for just over a month with Netflix, food delivery & video games and there are people risking viral death by storming state capital buildings & screaming, “Open Fuddruckers!”
Katie Roller retweeted
Man WHAT??!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣. No disrespect to those lady Gamecocks and their hoopers cause they can ball but THAT Lady Vols team would SMASH damn near any team. Now if you put them vs Lady Huskies(Bird,DT, Maya, B. Stewart, Lobo) now we talking. And yes I know they ain’t in the SEC🤷🏾♂️
Katie Roller retweeted
All the major cruise lines are asking for bailouts from the U.S. Government.
Yet, Disney Cruises sails under the Bahamian flag ... Celebrity Cruises under Liberian/Maltese flags & Carnival Cruises under the Panamanian flag - all to avoid U.S. taxes & employment law
Just sayin'
Katie Roller retweeted
People: "I want 2020 to be like the roarin' twenties!"
Earth: "Alright, infectious disease is spreading."
People: "No, not like that."
Earth: "The US stock market is tanking."
People: "Wait..."
Earth: "LMAO Bars can't be open anymore."
Katie Roller retweeted
The #CoronaVirus out here canceling everything but these student loans.
Katie Roller retweeted
Fenn, my nearly 4 year old daughter, recorded her first ever solo song today. She came up with all the words herself and I helped her a little bit with the tune. It’s called ‘Dinosaurs in Love’. 🦕❤️🦕
Katie Roller retweeted
When I see a #Chopped contestant leaving an ingredient off the plate but I know I can’t save them.
Katie Roller retweeted
I will buy every single person that RTs this a Baker Mayfield jersey and I'm not kidding.
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Katie Roller retweeted
When asked what advice Amy Poehler had for young female directors she said: “Do it even if you don’t think you’re ready... a lot of women wait until they think they’re really really ready for something. And I’ve worked with a lot of guys who aren’t ready for what they’re doing.”
